Free Online Paternity Test - Are You the Daddy?

459 Responses | Created by Nobody

| Skip to Results

Oh, snap, somebody done got knocked up! Are you the father? You can now get a real DNA paternity test at Rite-Aid, but before you go and waste your money on a fancy DNA test, take this simple quiz to find out the old fashioned way if you're the daddy.

1

Do you know the baby mama?
- Only in the biblical sense.
- Not exactly.
- Do I have to know her name to "know" her?
- Yeah. We're dating.
- We met one time at church.
2

Do you and the baby look alike?
- Well, we're both a little fat.
- We have different races, but our fingers totally look the same.
- Yeah. Same skin, same eyes. The baby's a chip off the old block.
3

Describe your love life in one word.
- Poetry
- Anonymous
- Epic
- Potent
- Bam!
- usrbin/man touch
4

Is the baby mama's last name "Spears"?
- Yes, Britney.
- Yes, Jamie Lynn.
- No.
5

Look down your pants. See any testicles down there?
- Yep. Love 'em!
- Hard to tell with how inflamed it is down there.
- Nope. 100% female.
- Yeah. Just 'cause I got a vasectomy doesn't make me any less of a man.
- Not anymore.
- No, my girlfriend's in the way.
6

What is your orientation?
- Straight
- Gay
- Lesbian
- Horizontal
- Up and a little to the left
7

How do you feel about condoms?
- I'm not really "feelin' it" at all.
- I'm wearing one right now.
- No need, I already own my own home.
- No way! My little soldiers need room to operate.
8

What are you doing next Tuesday at 10am?
- Changing the fuel rods at Three Mile Island
- Partying with friends on Fire Island
- Sending out fund raising letters for my church
- Flushing my DNS
- Appearing with my girlfriend on the Maury Povi...WTF!?*!
9

About how long after that magical night was the baby born?
- 9 months
- 9 weeks
- 9 days
- 9 hours
- 9 minutes
- 9 seconds
10

Are you a philanthropist?
- I donate blood once a month
- I donate platelets once a year
- I donate money to my church every Sunday
- I donate sperm whenever I can to whoever I can
11

Everyone is different, and so are their answers. What is your:
- Gender
- Birth Year

Post This Quiz

Paste this code into your page:

Rating

4 votes

Take this first to vote!

Remove from Favorites Add to Favorites

Free Online Paternity Test - Are You the Daddy?

Do you know the baby mama?

Do you and the baby look alike?

Describe your love life in one word.

Is the baby mama's last name "Spears"?

Look down your pants. See any testicles down there?

What is your orientation?

How do you feel about condoms?

What are you doing next Tuesday at 10am?

About how long after that magical night was the baby born?

Are you a philanthropist?

Everyone is different, and so are their answers. What is your:

Post This Quiz

Rating

Tags

Popular Topics

Quizzes for My Page

Featured Quizzes