Which Keanu Reeves Character Are You?

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1

Popquiz, hotshot! There’s a bomb on a bus. Bus goes below 50, it’ll blow. What do you do?
- I’d wanna know what bus it was.
- There is no bus.
- Party on, dude!
- I’ll defend the bomber, and I won’t lose. I’m a lawyer! That’s my job, that’s what I do!
- I can’t wait to send a magical mailbox letter to Sandy about this!
2

OK, Wyld Stallyn, Rufus has just given you the Time-Traveling Phonebooth. Who would you like to go back in time and meet?
- JFK (Johnny Utah always gets his man)
- Buddha (not the Keanu one)
- So-crates Johnson (Dust. Wind. Dude.)
- Satan (It’s Father’s Day)
- The princesses. (Who? You’ll see…)
3

You’re about to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. How do you feel?
- I’m gonna die now. I’m gonna effin’ die now!
- I wish I had taken the blue pill.
- This is totally non, non non, non non, non-heinous!
- Pain heals, chicks dig scars, glory lasts forever.
- This is more real to me than anything I’ve ever known.
4

Charlize Theron is dying, and wants to spend her last remaining month completely altering your life (supposedly for the better). What do you say?
- Vaya con dios, brah.
- Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger and you give me my phone call.
- A month with Charlize Theron? EXCELLENT! (/plays air guitar)
- You know what scares me? I quit the case, she gets better... and I hate her for it.
- November is all I know, and all I ever wanna know.
5

You’re jacked into the Matrix Training Program. What would you like to learn?
- Surfing
- Kung Fu
- When the Mongols ruled China
- The entire U.S. Legal System
- How to mail love letters through time.
6

You’ve just found out that Al Pacino is your father/the devil. He’ll do anything for you. So… which Al Pacino movie quote would you like him to perform?
- “If I was the man I was ten years ago, I’d take a FLAMETHROWER to this place!”
- “You know, we are sitting here, you and I, like a couple of regular fellas. You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do. And now that we've been face to face, if I'm there and I gotta put you away, I won't like it. But I tell you, if it's between you and some poor bastard whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow, brother, you are going down.”
- “All I got in this world is my word and my balls. And I don't break 'em for nobody!”
- “My father made him an offer he couldn't refuse. Luca Brasi held a gun to the bandleader's head, and my father assured him that either his signature or his brains would be on the release. ...That's a true story. That's my family Kay, that's not me.”
- "Yes, Mr Sims, there's only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: p*ssy. Hah! Are you listenin' to me, son? I'm givin' ya pearls here."
7

How would you best describe Keanu’s performance in Dracula?
- Amazing! Effing Amazing!
- Whoa!
- Bogus!
- Free will, right? (/you shoot yourself in the head)
- This is it; life will never be better, or sweeter than this
8

You are corresponding with Sandra Bullock through a magical mailbox. She asks you to wait for her. You love her, but that’s THREE YEARS? How do you respond?
- Sandy, this is you’re effing wake up call, man! I am an F-B-I- Agent!
- Sandy. I know you can hear me. I'm never letting go. I can't. I just love you too damn much.
- I believe our adventures in time have taken a most serious turn.
- Why me, Sandy? It's personal, isn't it? I didn't go to church enough, I didn't pray enough, I... I was five bucks short in the collection plate. Why?
- I’ll wait!!!
9

Your best friend tells you that Keanu Reeves is a bad actor. What is your next logical course of action?
- Arrest them, then let them go so they can die riding a hugemongous wave. It’ll be painful for them, and they deserve it.
- Feed ‘em to Agent Smith.
- Give him/her a Melvin.
- Sue them for slander. Win the case, send them to the slammer!
- Forgive them. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
10

Which is your preferred Keanu Reeves?
- Point Break (Action Keanu)
- The Matrix (Philosophical Keanu)
- Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (Funny Keanu)
- The Devil’s Advocate (Drama Keanu)
- Walk in the Clouds/The Lake House/Sweet November (Weepy Keanu)
11

Everyone is different, and so are their answers. What is your:
- Gender
- Birth Year

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Which Keanu Reeves Character Are You?

Popquiz, hotshot! There’s a bomb on a bus. Bus goes below 50, it’ll blow. What do you do?

OK, Wyld Stallyn, Rufus has just given you the Time-Traveling Phonebooth. Who would you like to go back in time and meet?

You’re about to jump out of a perfectly good airplane. How do you feel?

Charlize Theron is dying, and wants to spend her last remaining month completely altering your life (supposedly for the better). What do you say?

You’re jacked into the Matrix Training Program. What would you like to learn?

You’ve just found out that Al Pacino is your father/the devil. He’ll do anything for you. So… which Al Pacino movie quote would you like him to perform?

How would you best describe Keanu’s performance in Dracula?

You are corresponding with Sandra Bullock through a magical mailbox. She asks you to wait for her. You love her, but that’s THREE YEARS? How do you respond?

Your best friend tells you that Keanu Reeves is a bad actor. What is your next logical course of action?

Which is your preferred Keanu Reeves?

Everyone is different, and so are their answers. What is your:

Post This Quiz

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