Poll: What will you do with your wedding ring once the divorce is final?

- • Have it melted down and made into a heart-shaped charm for Fido’s collar, as at least the dog remained ever-faithful.
- • Gnaw off my own finger if need be in an effort to remove it as quickly as possible and begin tanning the pasty white line it leaves behind prior to my “All Balls and No Chains” party weekend in Vegas.
- • Pawn it to pay for the new 60” flat screen that my ex had always dreamed about and now will never be able to enjoy.
- • Rush to adopt a cat (a previously forbidden pet choice due to ex’s allergies) and attach wedding ring to the end of some yarn for cat play toy and some serious games of “Trolling for Kitty”.
- • Mail it to my ex, with a small container of gasoline and a pack of matches, asking for it to be included in some sort of ritual self-cremation, because: Hey, let’s face it, wouldn’t life post-divorce be easier for both of us if one of us just wasn’t around anymore?!

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