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Dis moi comment est ton frigo, je te dirais qui tu es ?
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Dis moi comment est ton frigo, je te dirais qui tu es ?
Je suis américain, beau et large d'épaules. La star de la cuisine, c'est moi. Mon distributeur à glaçons tourne à plein régime. Beurre et lait vont et viennent le matin et on me vole un plat cuisiné certains soirs. J'ai aussi deux mangues en voie d'abandon, je les achève ou les garde jusqu'à dimanche ?
J'ai un style banal et je suis toujours débordé. Pas un jour de répit. Vais contacter la DASS du frigo. Toute la famille me confie ses courses, légumes pour madame, charcuterie pour monsieur, tonne de yaourts pour les enfants, boîtes pour le chien. Rien n'est à sa place, hier j'avais un steak dans la porte et un potiron chez les yaourts.
Je suis gardien du light et du bio. A tous les étages, rien n'excède 2O% de matières grasses. Et les services vétérinaires peuvent passer, tout est conservé sous cellophane. Je me demande si je ne vais pas finir par maigrir et déprimer un peu. Je rêve d'une choucroute.
Je ne ressemble à rien certes. Pas grave. Ma richesse est intérieure: que des plats cuisinés, des produits du marché, des mitonnades maisons, des petits vins frais. Que le guide Michelin vienne me rendre visite, je suis étoilable. On pourrait ouvrir un restaurant avec ce que j'ai dans le ventre.
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