Vanity Fair Ciccone Survey

Here's a checklist of Christopher's quibbles with his pop star sister. Check those that apply to your own, less famous siblings.

Please select all that apply.

• Disparity in finances creates tension - "At the end of 2002, the London Mail on Sunday names Madonna Britain's second-highest-earning woman and cites her income that year at $56 million...I am nearing the end of working on Central but so far have made little money from the project. I am forced to further pare down my already Spartan existence..." (p. 310)
• Think sibling's husband is a jerk -"I feel even sadder that she is now married to a man who seems so insecure in his masculinity that he thrives on homophobia..." (p. 290)
• Sibling tries to impose lifestyle on others - "Within minutes, she [Caresse] calls back again. "Okay, Madonna will pay you the final payment just as long as you agree to go to Kabbalah." (p. 298)
• Forced to lie to spare sibling's feelings - "Afterward, I tell Madonna that she was great and the movie [The Next Best Thing] is funny, but this isn't true." (p. 277)
• Inability to let go of a grudge - "It dawns on me that she hasn't really forgiven me for my fax at all. Just as my apology was fake, so was her forgiveness." (p. 246)
• Differing views of family history - "Her mythmaking isn't outrageous, just interesting....our family listens to her reinventing history, but doesn't call her on it." (p. 105)
• Arguments over traveling arrangements - "On tour, she will give me my own car and driver and will fly me first-class. However, she will not pay for me to stay in hotel suites. I am annoyed because even her assistant stays in a suite." (p. 209)
• Differences in dealing with death of a parent - "All I know is that to Madonna nothing is sacred anymore. Not even our dead mother, whom she has relegated to the role of a mere extra in her movie." (p. 189)
• Wants professional advice at a reduced rate - "Caresse has recently told me that Madonna was shocked when she received [British decorator] David Collins's bill. Until then, she had no idea what kind of fees designers routinely charge." (p. 294)
• Don't appreciate a gift - "As a wedding present, I give Sean and Madonna a glass window on which I've printed two vines growing together. They both say they like it, but end up not displaying it in their home. (p. 116)
• Spotty attendance at family events - "In June, I go to my father's seventy-fifth birthday in Traverse City...Madonna doesn't come." (p. 330)
• Questionable choices for wedding invitation list - "The next day, my parents arrive, along with [younger sister] Paula. Initially, Madonna didn't invite her." (p. 286)
• Lack of respect - "Madonna, too, treats me as if I am nothing other than a serf paid to decorate her home." (p.295)
• Lack of loyalty - "But over the years, my sister's sense of loyalty, fairness...has been eroded by the adulation, the applause, the sense of entitlement." (p. 230)
• Lack of gratitude - "I've spent the last twenty years helping make her a star, supporting her, protecting her, without much financial reward." (p. 322)
• Anger erupts in email - "I end the email with "Don't forget to remove me from your will." Then I press SEND." (p. 323)
• And yet no one knows you better than your siblings... - "She will become mad with pride, with fame, with the oleaginous pandering of the sycophants, the mindless adoration of the masses." (p. 18)

Did answering this survey affect your decision to read the book?

• Yes, you just saved me $25.
• Yes, you just ruined the book.
• No, I can never get enough Ciccone family drama!!!