Survey: interesting Chuck Norris facts

1

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
- OMFG FOR REALZ??
- awwwwwww man
- he jacked me man
2

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- WOW neat
- say whaaa???????
- sdjkldfjkldfjklshlsf
3

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
- WHAT??????????
- ohhhhhhhh kaaaaaaayyyy
- shocked face
4

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
- HOLY @#$%
- daaaaaaaaamnnnnnnnnnn
- stunned face
5

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
- cool
- huh??
- i can too (me: LIAR)
6

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
- i dont get it
- lololololololol
- OH NO!!!
7

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
- IMPOSSIBLE!!!!
- w00t no more chemistry!!
- so violent these days
8

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
- only one stone for me
- sad face
- i thought it was the other way around
9

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- the boogie man scares me
- Chuck scares me
- im scared of both
10

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- i tried that didn't work
- HE IS GAWD!!!
- what??
11

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
- THOSE LYING BOOKS!!!
- wtf?
- thats not true
12

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
- uh...
- now i know!!!
- i thought god did that
13

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- uh oh gotta run!!!
- how???
- jeez
14

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
- i like that show though
- crying face
- oh well im with him
15

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
- oh really??
- no wonder i can't find him!!
- who waldo?
16

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
- i only got to a hundred
- sweet jezahs
- ¿Que?
17

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
- WHOA!!!
- no wonder he wins
- kool!!!!!!!!
18

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
- no wonder theres global warming!@!!@!@!
- make him stop!!!
- i wanna try!!
19

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
- i can't do that yet
- doooooooddd thats insane!!
- LIES I TELL YOU!!!
20

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
- i should know
- what about Go Fish?
- i gotta see that
21

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
- so?
- scared face
- lmmfao
22

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
- ohhhhh snaps son!!!
- wow he is gawd!!
- i thought of something else
23

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- NO EFFING WAYYYYYYY
- mine just keeps spinning
- i don't have one of those
24

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
- but i.........
- ohhhhhhhhhhh
- what can't he do??
25

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
- THAT LYING HISTORY TEACHER!!!!
- Russia has TV?
- never seen it
26

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
- ok?
- i don't know about that
- nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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interesting Chuck Norris facts

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

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