My Carnival of Rust

The good news?
She is jobless. She has fallen down.
Now I can kick her as she did me.
But would I be better than her? Would it make the tears go?
The pain finally diminish? Would I really be better after that.
Oh God please hear my cries, someone, anyone.
What should I do?
Let her boil in her own stew or add more fuel to the flame?
I loved her more than life itself.
I loved her with my soul.
So what do I do?