Goth Jokes ( because even we can laugh at ourselves )

Read the intro and just click the ones you like the best...again enjoy!

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• I'm so goth I'm the only person who understands what goth REALLY is, and I'm not telling you!
• I'm so goth every sentence I say has the word "goth" in it.
• I'm so goth I always use the word "goth" instead of "got."
• I'm so goth all I do is sit around and talk about how goth I am.
• I'm so goth I don't have a name. I'm just "goth."
• I'm so goth I changed my name to Mystryss Darque Wintyr Nyght Rayn Ravyn.
• I'm so goth I have crushed velvet lawn chairs.
• I'm so goth that in kindergarten I sang "woe, woe, woe your boat..."
• I'm so goth that lightning strikes whenever I count things. MUH-HA-HA-HA!
• I'm so goth I have to wear sunglasses and sunscreen to look on the bright side.
• I'm so goth that if I go out in the sunlight with bare skin showing, people have to put on shades because of the reflection off my pale skin.
• I'm so goth that bats hang little plastic me's from their ceiling.
• I'm so goth I always complain because my blacks don't match.
• I'm so goth I have a fishnet umbrella.
• I'm so goth I shower with bleach instead of soap.
• I'm so goth I spend hours deciding what shade of black to wear.
• I'm so goth I make Happy Meals cry.
• I'm so goth my skin would catch on fire if it were ever exposed to sunlight.
• I'm so goth that when I was a toddler, I didn't cry over spilled milk, I MOURNED it.
• I'm so goth I call a smile a "concave frown."

So just keep on clicking!

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• I'm so goth I listen to The Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus simultaneously at midnight in a graveyard sitting in a pentagram surrounded by candles . . . and oh, there's a full moon . . . and then I die. And then I come back to life. And then I die again . . . tragically.
• I'm so goth I dot my i's with frowny faces.
• I'm so goth I spend every waking moment, every breath, in contemplation of Goth. The totality of my being is at one with the essence of Goth.
• I'm so goth I got a 12-pack of absinthe.
• I'm so goth I don't eat gummy bears, I eat "glummy bears."
• I'm so goth, Robert Smith asked ME for my autograph.
• I'm so goth I sleep UNDER my bed.
• I'm so goth I . . . wear . . . my . . . sunnnnnglasses at night (sung with a Corey Hart pout).
• I'm so goth I became a fisherman, just so I could use fishnets.
• I'm so goth I know how to spell Siouxsie & The Banshees correctly.
• I'm so goth the dark is scared of ME.
• I'm so goth tan lines are a sin.
• I'm so goth nuns and priests resent me because I look cooler in black than them.
• I'm so goth I'm catholic.
• I'm so goth I know what pvc stands for.
• I'm so goth the people at the suicide hotline have asked me to stop calling. ( Me: I know, I know not all goths aren't suicidle )
• I'm so goth I tried to use Cheer . . . it cried.
• I'm so goth, when I'm sleeping people come and check my pulse.
• I'm so goth I have actually seriously uttered the phrase, "the darkest dark of the dark darkness."
• I'm so goth I don't have a pulse.

Do you like them so far?

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• Somewhat
• Ehh...

And just keep clicking

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• I'm so goth that whenever I walk into a room, you hear "Toccata and Fugue in D minor."
• I'm so goth I have carpal tunnel syndrome from constantly putting the back of my hand to my forehead.
• I'm so goth I practice my blank stare in the mirror.
• I'm so goth I rooted for Gargamel.
• I'm so goth I keep getting hit on by necrophiliacs!
• I'm so goth little old ladies in walkers cross the street to insult me.
• I'm so goth, when I smile people ask me what's wrong.
• I'm so goth I punched a care bear.
• I'm so goth I make flowers wilt.
• I'm so goth I like them better that way.
• I'm so goth, when I was born the doctor slapped me and I didn't cry.
• I'm so goth I don't take my medications, so I can be more goth.
• I'm so goth little kids are mesmerized by my appearance.
• I'm so goth I ate a Happy Meal . . . because I like to live dangerous.
• I'm so goth I wonder if my dog's collar would look better on me.
• I'm so goth I KNOW my dog's collar looks better on me.
• I'm so goth I stole my dog's collar.
• I'm so goth I slather on spf 45 before I open the refrigerator.

And clicking...

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• I'm so goth, in preschool, all my drawings were titled, "DEATH."
• I'm so goth, in high school, all my papers were titled, "DEATH."
• I'm so goth I think electrical tape is a fashion accessory.
• I'm so goth it takes me an hour and a half to get dressed.
• I'm so goth it takes me longer to get UNdressed.
• I'm so goth I'm the only REAL goth.
• I'm so goth I set off airport metal detectors from ten feet away with all my jewelry.
• I'm so goth I don't use fabric softener, because I like pain.
• I'm so goth I say things like "eternally yours in darkness" and "love and darkness" and "may the eternal darkness of the abyss enrapture and enshroud you in its infernal sickly sweet embrace."
• I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face have atrophied.
• I'm so goth the smile muscles in my face never GREW.
• What's a smile?
• I'm so goth, when I go outside, the sun sets.
• I'm so goth, when I stop pouting, people ask, "What are YOU so happy about?"
• I'm so goth, I'm not only "goth," but also "gothe" "goff" "gawth" "gauwth" "gothic" "gothik" "gothique" and "gawfickk" and soon I hope to be "gauewthickueu."
• I'm so goth, whenever I knock on somebody's door they give me candy.
• I'm so goth I died and didn't notice.
• I'm so goth I don't paint my nails black--I bash them with a hammer.

Having fun?

• Yes!
• No!
• Somewhat
• UGH!

This is the last part

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• I'm so goth I wear sunglasses when I open the refrigerator.
• I'm so goth the people in the grocery store have refused to sell me any cereal other than Count Chocula.
• I'm so goth people ask me to AUTOGRAPH boxes of Count Chocula.
• I'm so goth, whenever I walk into a room, all the lights go out.
• I'm so goth, I don't say "black," I say "blahhwwwkkk."
• I'm so goth my black is blacker than your black. I call it "black black."
• I'm so goth, in preschool, the only crayon I used was black.

Its over now. Did you like them? and will you comment?

• Yes! and I'll comment.
• Yes! and I won't comment
• Yes! and I might comment
• Somewhat and I'll comment
• Somewhat and I won't comment
• Somewhat and I might comment
• No, but I'll comment
• No, but I'll complain
• No and I won't do anything