How Messed Up Am I?

im messed up
about two years ago this guy i liked hurt me.
its not like he rap- ed me or anything, but i have never felt more uncomfortable in my entire life. it makes me feel pathetic and i can't even begin to explain how much it put me through. i could go on for days about how i have felt. i cant seem to forget this
everytime i like a guy...i ruin it.
i dont know why.
its like i prevent myself from being happy.
please answer honestly
i just can't take it anymore.