Hi my name is Fred!

Your front door rings, you go to answer it. "Hello, my name is Fred!"

• Hi Fred, ummm, this is not a very good time for you to call i'm afraid, come back in 10 minutes!
• Go away Fred, i'm busy!
• Fred, can you please leave me alone for 10 mnutes mate, thanks!

10 minutes later... ding dong! "Hello, it's me Fred again!"

• Have a little present from me Fred! (he walks away, 3 seconds later.....BOOM!)
• Right, that's it!! (you punch him in the choppers, and while he is on the ground, you kick him in the privates!)

Oops, you do know that was not Fred, right?

• Yes, but I was really busy and annoyed!
• What!!!!!!!!
• OMG, I'm gonna kill him when I next see him!

In court, the jury ask you why you did it. You say.....

• "Because I love cheese!!"
• "I was busy and people kept knocking on my door!"
• "I didn't mean to hurt them, I just lost my temper a bit!"

You don't get sent to jail, so you call round Fred's house. "Hi, what do you want good old buddy of mine?" You reply...

• "Don't call me buddy, i want to kill you!!"
• "Hey Fred, I have something I need to speak to you about...."

Fred slams the door on you. You shout....

• "Oi Fred, come round my house in 5 minutes or else!!"
• "Right Fred, if you're gonna be like that, I'm gonna have to wait for you to come to me...be at my house in 5 minutes!!"

5 minutes later...ding dong! You open the door....

• SMASH!! Ouch, you hit him right in the eye!
• Have an apple from me Fred... (it's a poisonous one)

Guess what, that wasn't Fred!

• Oh no, not again!!
• Right, i've had enough of him!

You get sent to court again. When asked why you did it, you say....

• "I told you before, I love cheese!"
• "Because I wanted to get Fred back for last time he annoyed me!"

You manage to escape going to jail again! Knowing that Fred won't come to you, you hide behind a bush waiting for him to leave his home. You have a machine gun! Fred walks out of his home...

• BANG BANG BANG!!! 3 shots and he's dead!
• You wait until he's gone past you, you sneak up behind him, then shout ,"Oi Fred, look behind you!" He does, then BANG, you shoot him in the heart and he dies!

"Yes, I've finally killed him!" Author: "You may have got rid of him, but you have to go to court again!"

• Oh well, at least he's gone!
• Damn it!

In court, you are found guilty and will be in jail for the rest of your life!

• "Why did this happen to me? It wasn't my fault Fred was annoying me!"
• "I hope I get plenty of cheese in jail! I love it you know!"

As you sit in jail every day, you think about what you done....

• "Ah well, he's gone, that's all I care about!"
• "If I don't get cheese in here then i'm gonna kill myself right now!"

You get given a piece of cheese every day, you say....

• "YAY!! Cheese!! Oh thank you so much! Can I have another piece please?"
• "Oh no! I don't like cheese, oh well I guess I have to eat something!"

The end!

• What, already?
• Yes, at last it's over!

What did you think of this survey?

Please select all that apply.

• Good, but it got boring after a while!
• Loved it!
• Hated it!
• Good in parts, bad in ohers!