"Drained Inside" poem:
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Heres the poem (below) Please Comment :D
My drowsed up soul
Still be here for me, for me
My mind captured
All bruised inside, and all this time
I've been so hollowed
Afraid of you
I know you're still there
I've weeped inside
Drained inside
I can feel you storm me down
Fearing you
Surrounded by you
Blood leaking, I'm drained inside
I feel captured
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10 Comments
Hey! Usually poems written on here (Quibblo) are kinda crappy, but I think uhave talent. I'm not saying that I'm a literary critic or something but still. I've read a lot of poetry. I still think u should read some of the classics and try to improve yr rhytm and rhyme. You've got the feeling and the words, just take a better look at the general impression, dunno that's what I think. Don't get upset or something, k? Ta da.
omg!! i think some of thoes are lyrics from the song haunted by.Evanescence!!! am i right?
yeh u are right haunted by evanescence
try 2 feel deeper go inside and out and try 2 write about something u know how it feels like
i likes i. =)
it was good n im not being hipocrite i liked it n you know now that you mention it yes i think ive heard a song similar to that
it sounded like hanted by evanescence
you should join www.allpoetry.com or www.mypoetry.com if u do plz add me my username is the same for both deathfairyxXx
you do a really good job with the dark poetry. keep up the good work.
yeh i wanted the poem to have a bit of the haunted (evanescence) lyrics cos that song really speaks my mind if you know what i mean.