How would you torture Voldy-mort

Pick

Please select all that apply.

• Follow him around, mimicking him in a very high voice whenever he speaks. Then poke him.
• Do a stupid dramatic version of his defeat, over and over again. Until he is either annoyed with rage or annoyed with rage that other people are laughing at him Then I advise that you run ^^
• Put a bald cap on, walk up to him, and ask how you can keep your head as shiny as his.
• Prank call him, playing a recording of Harry Potter saying "I know where you live. And where you sleep. And where you keep your Horcruxes." Then hang up before he hears you snickering in the background.
• Draw a bullseye on the back of his head while he sleeps.Better yet, draw a picture of Quirrells face back there.
• Sing Voldemort, Voldemort ooo Voldy Voldy Voldy Voldemort! when walking next to him.
• yell "old voldy is rather moldy!" Whenever he tries to talk.
• Jump up and down in front of him yelling: You Got Beaten By a One-year-old!THEN RUN
• Cheerfully skip up to him when he is about to kill you and then examine his wand with interest and be like "oooh shiny!"
• host a sleepover, invite many giggling girls who laugh whenever he talks and insist on giving him a pedicure.
• Tell him that Harry Potter is simply "just too far out of his league" and suggest Draco Malfoy as an alternative.
• constantly look at him with pity & whisper loud enough for him to hear to other Death Eaters, "you know he was an orphan? isn't that terrible? and he never even had a girlfriend, I know, how pathetic" & if he confronts you about it insist that you feel sorry for him. Also, whenever he mentions Harry Potter whisper "aw, he couldn't even kill a baby."
• ask him repeatedly what qualifies as a 'mud-blood'. "alright, let's say my second cousin's grandpa was a muggle?"
• whenever he mentions Harry Potter say coughPedophilecough
• remind him constantly that wearing more pink would compliment his red eyes & insist that it's all the rage in Dark Lord fashion
• tell him he's got something on his face and when he tries to rub it off and asks if he got it, keep saying "no" and point to different places on his face. Do this while looking disgusted
• Follow him around REAL CLOSE and breathe heavily so he can hear it and feel it on his ear. When he tells you to stop, tell him you've got a nasal congestion and have to breathe out of your mouth.
• whisper with other Deatheaters at a meeting about how cute you think Harry is and pass around pictures of Harry until they get to Voldiekins (who will most likely rip them up, so use copies you don't want :P)
• wear squeaky shoes and follow him around, stopping when he stops, etc
• Publish a magazine, "Half Blood Wizards Weekly". Put Voldemort's picture on the cover.
• Place a ticking clock under his chair and put a nonbreakable spell on it.
• when Voldey sees something on the ground and tries to pick it up, shriek "MINE MINE MINE!!!" (like the seagulls from Finding Nemo)and dash to it before he can even blink.
• Dress up as Harry Potter or Dumbledore and stalk him for several days.
• Play the "why" game at all secret meetings
• Follow him around with your finger like an inch away from him and keep going im not touching you!!
• Get a robotic spy fly and attach it to his wall. Say something through the little mic like ' Voldy, I am your conscience. ' He will freak out at this.
• If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
• apperate behind him while he's flying on his broom... ask him ARE WE THERE YET? over and over again.
• Follow him around and ask, what time is it? repeatedly
• Turn the manor into a girly pink wonderland with happy princess music.
• Take him to Disney land.
• Dye all his robes pink.
• prank call him and yell " you lepricon tant, you floppy wand demantor boggerer!!!!!!"
• Set him up on a blind date with Umbridge.
• every time he goes to talk yell " silence!! i kill you!!" in a really shrill vocie
• when hes a sleep, perminent marker a ranbow on his forehead.
• if he actualy got something done right look at him and say " what? you waht a cookie or something?"
• ask him if he wants a muffin and if he says yes yell in his face " no muffin for you!!!!"
• walk up to him, rub his head and say... "Hey there Mr. Clean."
• Make him watch Barney Marathon taping his eyes open watching if he finally cracks
• send him to Privet Drive because the Dursleys misses him sooooo much, especially Duuudley
• Stare at him and laugh every four seconds
• Get him a can of spray-on hair for Christmas

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• Yuperdoodle
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