In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity... (here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods)

Please select all that apply.

• On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
• On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
• On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap," (and that would be how?....)
• On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion.)
• On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert [printed on bottom] -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
• On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (and you thought?...)
• On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
• On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
• On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because?....)
• On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
• On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
• On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
• On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
• On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
• On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)