Survey for Men - Commitment & Marriage

Please enter your age below:

• Below 17
• 18-22
• 22-23
• 24-25
• 26-27
• 28-29
• 30-31
• 32 or older

Are you considering, or would you consider, getting married to the woman you are currently in a relationship with?

• Yes
• No

How long have you been with your current partner?

• 0-3 months
• 4-6 months
• 7-9 months
• 10-11 months
• Between 1-2 years
• Between 2-3 years
• Between 3-4 years
• Between 4-5 years
• Between 5-6 years
• More than 6 years

If you answered "Yes" to Question 2, which factors have led you to consider getting married?

Please select all that apply.

• She's attractive and takes care of her personal appearance - well groomed, dressed and tidy
• I feel that I am financially capable of supporting a wife and a family
• My friends/siblings are starting to commit and settle, which has led me to consider my own future
• She's not so much "dropping hints" as "dropping anvils" that she wants to get married
• She's given me the ultimatum - I either marry her or she walks, and I don't want to lose her
• She is pregnant/ the mother of my children, and I want to do the right thing by her
• I know that "she's the one"
• She's the right girl at the right time
• I am sick of "the singles scene" and want to settle down
• She is confident and has a life outside of me - she's not too clingy or needy
• I feel a certain pressure from my friends/ family to get married/ to marry this one before she gets away
• I want to have children, and I want to do so within the sanctity of marriage
• She will not move in with me/ have relations with me before marriage
• She loves me for who I am - she doesn't try to change me
• She's a real prize - beauty, brains, cooking skills, a minx in bed, and I love to take her out and show her off
• She's classy - not foul-mouthed, badly spoken or impolite. She doesn't dress provocatively or flirt with others. She's a real lady.
• Our intimate life is active and fulfilling. I know things in that department will never grow stale or boring with her. I'm not afraid of her being the only woman I commit to, because she knows what I like - and is willing to try new things.
• I know she loves me - she takes care of me when I'm sick, shows appropriate affection and does little things to show me that she appreciates me.
• We are intellectually matched - we have great conversations, and good-natured, interesting debates and discussions. She has her own opinions without being opinionated. I would never tire of her or find her dull.

If you answered "No" to Question 2, and have been with your current partner for a longer period of time than 18 months, why are you not considering marriage?

Please select all that apply.

• To be blunt, I'm "just not that into her" - she's a great girl, I love her (I may even be in love with her), we get along great, and I care about her, but I know she's not "the one" I want to marry and spend the rest of my life with
• I'm afraid that marrying her will mean that I have to give up my freedom and time with the boys
• I don't feel any need to get married - things are going great just the way they are
• We live together - we have a house, pay bills, sleep together and do everything as a husband and life would. I don't see why we need a piece of paper and a big expensive day.
• I don't feel financially ready to support a wife and family - I want to be able to give her the ring, house, wedding and life of her dreams
• I don't believe in marriage
• I'm afraid that she won't let me have the bachelor party I want and/or won't let me have input into the wedding
• She doesn't get along with my friends/ my friends don't like her
• She doesn't get along with my family/ my family doesn't approve of her
• She's too needy/ too clingy - she doesn't have much of a life outside of me
• We differ in our core values - religion, politics, family values
• I don't get along with her friends/family - having to spend the rest of my life in their company gives me nightmares
• I don't feel that her friends/family approve of me - they make me feel unwelcome
• I like leading the bachelor's life - marrying her means giving up the way of life that I am used to
• She's never brought up a desire to get married, so why stir the pot?
• All she ever talks about is getting married, I feel like I'm just a pawn in her "life plan"
• The idea of committing to just one woman for the rest of my life is terrifying - what if someone better comes along and I've made a big mistake that I cannot undo?
• What with divorce rates on the up-and-up, and all the divorce horror stories, I'm afraid that it will happen to me, and she'll rip my wallet out through my genitals and leave me penniless and emotionally destroyed in the gutter
• We are not in a happy relationship - she doesn't treat me well/ I don't treat her well/ we don't get along, and whilst I'm not ready to end it, I'm not exactly going to make it a permanent lifestyle either
• My parents' unhappy marriage/ messy divorce, has scarred me emotionally, and scared me off the idea of marriage
• My friends are all/ mostly single - I don't want to become the "boring married one"
• I don't feel like I'm good enough for her - she could do so much better than me
• I'm afraid that she's going to want to start punching out the babies as soon as the wedding band is on her finger - and I'm not ready for/ I don't want kids
• I'm married
• She's married
• I've been married, and divorced, and I have no interest in marrying again
• I've been married, and widowed, and I have no interest in marrying again
• She doesn't want to get married
• I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility yet - I still want some time to celebrate my youth and experience life with no strings attached
• She's showing signs that she'll be a total control freak - and I'm afraid of being in the firing line once we're hitched
• She has children from a previous relationship/marriage, and I am not ready for the responsibility of becoming their stepfather
• I want to get all the other aspects of my life - my career, financial situation, getting my own house - in order before I even think about marriage
• I don't mean to sound shallow, but I'm afraid she'll "let herself go" - start packing on the pounds, stop taking care of her physical appearance, burping/farting in front of me
• I find our "intimate" life dull and boring - she doesn't seem to want to try new things/ her passion levels run differently to mine. It seems that we're not very compatible in that department.

If your partner gave you the ultimatum "Marry me, or I walk", what would your response be?

• I would agree to marry her - I don't want to lose the best thing that ever happened to me
• I would agree to marry her - I've been thinking about it for a while but I didn't know she wanted marriage, too
• I would agree to marry her to stop her from going, but I am not ready and would not be able to be a good husband to her
• I would let her walk - it sucks, I really thought I would be with her forever, but I just can't commit to getting married yet
• I would let her walk - she's not the one, it's better to let her go and find someone else
• I would ask for a day/week to think about it before I made up my mind - I'm not prepared to lose her but these things take time

If you answered "Yes" to Question 2, do you think your partner is ready to marry you?

• Yes - she hasn't said anything, but she gets all gooey around her friends who are getting married, and I know she's secretly thinking about her own day
• Yes - she brings it up every chance she gets, saying things like "If/when we get married" and "at our wedding, we should have..."
• No - she hasn't said anything, and she's showing no signs of wanting marriage yet
• No - she has told me outright that she is not yet ready for marriage
• I'm not sure

If you answered "Yes" to Question 2, do you think your partner is ready to marry you?

• Yes - she hasn't said anything, but she gets all gooey around her friends who are getting married, and I know she's secretly thinking about her own day
• Yes - she talks about wanting to get married/ has dropped several hints, and the fact that we are not on our way to marriage has started to cause some difficulties in our relationship
• No - she hasn't said anything, and she's dropping no hints that she is ready
• No - she has told me that she is not yet ready for marriage
• I'm not sure

Do you feel a certain pressure from your girlfriend to get married?

• Yes - and it's making me consider it before I lose the best thing that's ever happened to me
• Yes - and it makes me feel like running - and not into her arms, but as fast as I can in the other direction
• No - I know it's important to her, but she's content to wait patiently until I've made up my mind
• No - marriage isn't an important need for her right now

Do you feel a certain pressure from your friends/ family to get married to your partner?

• Yes - they keep suggesting that it's high time I started thinking about my future and settling down
• Yes - they are certain that she is the right girl for me and want me to take the next step before she leaves me for someone who will
• No - they discourage me from it and want me to have my freedom and live a full life before I settle down
• No - they want to see me in a happy, committed relationship but they don't think that she is the one for me
• No - so long as I am happy, they are not concerned one way or the other

Which factor is the most important when it comes to settling down?

• The right girl
• The right time
• A combination of both

If you knew your partner wasn't "the one" you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, would you continue to be with her?

• Yes - until someone better came along, and I knew for certain I could get seamlessly from one to the other. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, so to speak.
• Yes - we love each other. I'm not interested in the future, and she's fine in the here and now. Whatever will be, will be.
• I would probably distance myself until she felt compelled to end the relationship herself.
• No - I care about her, and I wouldn't hurt her like that. If I realised that she wasn't the one for me, I would end it.

If you knew your partner wanted marriage, but you decided that you didn't want to ever marry, or couldn't see marriage in your future, would you continue to be with her?

• Yes - there's nothing wrong with our relationship the way it is. I'm comfortable and happy right where I am.
• Yes - there are two people in a relationship, after all. If she doesn't like it, she can leave any time she wants.
• I don't know - I would be reluctant to tell her I didn't want marriage because I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to be in a relationship where we want different things and it eats away at us both.
• No - I know how much marriage means to her. I couldn't be unfair to her like that. As heartbreaking as it would be to have to let go of the woman I love, I don't want her to come to resent me for denying her what she wants from life.

Which age group do you think is a reasonable age group to get married?

• 17-22
• 23-26
• 27-29
• 30-33
• 33-35
• Older than 35

How long do you feel you should spend getting to know your partner before proposing?

• Less than 6 months - when you know, you know
• 6 months to 1 year
• 1 - 2 years
• 2 - 3 years
• 3 - 4 years
• 4 - 5 years
• 6 - 7 years
• Greater than 7 years
• It depends on the circumstances

If you are thinking about getting married, how soon are you looking at proposing?

• Within the next month
• Within the next 3 months
• Within the next 6 months
• In the next 12 months
• In 1 - 2 years
• In 2 - 3 years
• More than 3 years from now
• I don't really want to be given a timeframe - I'll get to it when I get to it