HELP! Opinions needed! >:)

Well as it seems I will make modifications to the original story. You see my Write Workshop story is supposed to be a short story. So, why would I waste a perfectly good long story, and try to shorten, because trust me, I could not get out the meaning and process of the story if it was to very short, as the teacher had told me. So therefore here are the newly updated character and I might even leave a story plot to develop. Sadly, Kaitlyn Serenity Spri doesn't belong in my new found story plot.