im just sorry

you know when you try to not love someone for one night so you can drop the pain and sleep,well thats where im scrwed i can keep telling myself i dont love him,and i just cry more.the only person to blame is me.i shouldnt be loved by anyone. im nothing special.im just a biitch.i cant say stuff without a fight happening.i keep twisting words,i keep hurting him more. and i still feel like i have so much more to say.but i cant get the words out.i fear youll be more mad and me and never forgive me