The Nightmare Called Life

My head hurts, my heart is beating faster. I feel pain. Pain all over my body. I groan and strain my neck to the left. "Jayden?!" my voice sounded strange, higher. I was panicking. I heard the sirens. "Jay!" I yelled. "Jay wake up!" my voice cracked and I began to sob. Every sob hurt. Then someone was pulling me from the car and placing me on the stretcher. "NO! You have to get Jay out of the car!! Please! You have to save him!" I shrieked as they pushed the strecher into the ambulence. I sobbed and yelled. "Hush. You'll hurt yourself." said the man in the ambulence. My sobs hushed became silent. "How did your car flip over?" the man asked. I couldn't answer my sobs were becoming more intense. "Hush." the man stroked my hair. "It's okay. Shh." he said gently. I finally calmed down and the man asked again, "How did your car flip over? Do you remember anything?" I nodded and began to tell the man everything I remembered. "We were going home from the pizza place. It was his birthday." tears flooded my eyes and slid down my face. "Who was in the car?" the man said still stroking my hair. "Just my brother. Jayden. He wanted to drive. He'd just gotten his license. And I..." I began to cry harder. "I let him. It was his birthday!" I started sob again and once again I remembered my body ached everywhere. "Shhhh. It's okay." the ambulance man stroked my hair quickly but all the while remained gentle. "But how did the car flip? Do you remember, sweetie?" I thought for a couple seconds and nodded solemly. "There was some ice. And Jay... Jay tried to swerve away from the other car but... he couldn't. He only just got his license." tears fell continously from my face. The man blurred then become clear over and over. I closed my eyes but all I could picture was Jay laying there motionless his entire body covered in blood. "It's my fault! I let him drive. I knew I shouldn't have let him! It's just one time I thought. And now he's gonna die!" I didn't want to sob again but I did and this time there was no stopping it. The man stroked, and stroked, and stroked my hair but it was no use. I sobbed all the way to the hostpital. When we got there my eyes had dried up so I was sobbing with no tears. My whole body was shaking and in result every inch of my body was experiencing intense pain. I finally stopped sobbing when the doctor shouted to the nurse "The other person in the car didn't make it." he'd shouted so the nurse would hear but I ended up hearing him. The doctor and the nurse stared at me and I stared back. I can only imagine what look my face betrayed. Dr. Burke began to say something but it was like my ears shut down. Like my entire body just shut off. He nodded sympatheticallly as he walked out the room. I watched the door close slowly. I turned slowly back toward the nurse. She was staring at me. "Sorry." she said and scrambled out the door. Then all my senses shut down. My eyes shut and everything around me disappeared. I hear no sound. I see no image. I feel only the pain in my heart and the bed beneath me. I taste nothing. I smell only the smell of the hospital. The smell of hope and of dispair. The sense at work the most right now as I lay in this lonely hospital room is feeling. I feel all the pain everyone in the hospital endures. The little girl who doesn't know if her Dad is okay. The elderly man who doesn't know if his wife is alive. The woman who knows her mother is deceased. The family planning the grandmother's funeral. I feel their pain all packaged into one. I open my eyes once more to escape the feeling of emptiness but instead feel more empty because of the room I'm in. An empty, cold, lonely hospital room with only a tiny window to let light in. Slowly I fade away. I fade into the dark abess. Jayden was awaiting me there. Jay smiled at me and I could just almost not hear the loud beep of the monitor. BEEEEEEP. Jay gestured me to come with him. I shook my head. I have friends here... and our parents. I thought to Jay. He began to fade and before he was gone he smiled a sad little smile. The darkness became light as my eyes opened and the people all around me sighed in relief as the monitor began to beep normally again. Standing beside my bed were the people I didn't give up on, my teary eyed parents and my best friends who's eyes lit up as I opened my eyes and smiled a small smile. "I love you guys." I said grinning as they smiled and wiped their tears.