Rip me apart: a Jacob black love story 39

I didn't have anywhere to go.Anywhere I wanted to be was off Limits-No one knew where I was now.What I was doing.And somehow there was that one place I wanted to be that was not off limits-Where I could go whenever-If only he was there,Of course.I raced myself-Making it their in only a heart beat.I stopped on the sidewalk.Was this right?Ethical?Or just plain stupid?I stepped towards the house.I was maybe twenty paces away-when the door creeped open.The large house was almost empty-It did not look like it could was inhabited by anyone.Anyone but just one person.He stepped out-obviously not in a rush.He was looking towards the ground-just as amazing as I remembered him.Yet not as amazing as the one person that I held closely to my heart.That one person seemed so far away-so distant...
"Mary Elizabeth?"He called,walking faster.His speeking made my eyes flash up towards him.
"El?"He called,using his little nickname for me.I smiled silently.He rushed towards me-And pulled me into a hug."How've you been?"He said,excited.
"I've been...I've been good.And you?"I said,hugging him back.
"Well,I'm definetely good now.So what are you doing here?"
"Well Excuse me for wanting to visit my bestie,"I said,sarcastic.
"Oh,Right."He smiled widely-His teeth were so white and perfect.
"So where were you going,just now?"I asked,curious.Maybe I could go with him.
"Well,I was heading over to my parents' House,but they can wait.So how long are you here for?"He said,walking me towards his house.
"A day or two."
"Why so short?"He asked,his smile a little less bright.
"Umm,well,I have some errands to run for...For the newly weds."I said,the lie curving into the truth.
"And why would they send you?I'm assuming they can walk and move perfectly."He said,annoyed.
"Oh,Well,The thing is..."
"The thing is you let everyone use you,El."
"What?"I was in shock.I'd never seen it this way.
"You've always done everything for bella.For the band,Charlie,Edward,The Cullens.And they do harshly anything for you.And even if its something you feel uncomfortable with,you still do it."I could see what he was saying-Two names were enough.
Edward.Bella.Using me.
"Well,It's...I don't know,okay?It's just-"
"El,You even let that jacob kid do with you as he pleases.Maybe your forgetting I know A lot of what he does to you,"
"That's...that's not true,"I frowned.
"You don't see it,do you?"He asked.We where in his living room now.I shook my head,no.I did not see what he was saying.
"He lied to you a thousand times.Hurt you twice as much as that,El.And you're going to tell me you still love him?For what?For breaking your heart?"The acid in his voice stung-it made me feel ashamed of myself.I wished I could tell him I had no choice-That I can't be smarter than this-because my choices were taken away from me.My life was set-and I could not change it.
"Sometimes I wish I could tell you why.Sometimes I wish I could tell you everything.Tell you why I can't change,Why things can't be a different way.But I just can't."
"El,You know you can Tell me anything."
"That's the thing-I know I can trust you-But You have no idea how difficult this is!"
"What-What do you mean?"
"I wish I could tell you everything,what's happening in forks.Why I can't leave.Why I can't get over him.Why My thoughts aren't safe.But you have no Idea how tight I'm bound!"
"He won't let you tell me,Will he?Well screw him,El!You god damn know you can tell me anything!"
"That's the thing-It's not my secret to tell!I wish I could have one person to tell-One normal person that wouldn't judge me-But-"
"If it's not your secret,than how does it affect you?"
"Oh my goodness.I really wish I could explain.But I can't-They'll kill me-They'll kill you!"
"I'm not afraid of your boyfriend."
"I'm not talking about him!"
"Then-Then Who?"
"I wish I could tell you,I really,really,do."I said,sad.
"Does it have anything to do with the fever you always seem to be running?"He said,his hand tracing down my arm.I flinched.
"Yes.But for your ownsake,lets just say I'm a little more durable than you,or any normal human."
"What?What are you talking about?"He said,clueless.I took his hand and led him to the kitchen.I searched the drawers."What are you looking for?"He asked.That's when I found it-A very sharp edged knife."El what are you thinking!"He yelled,but I had already sliced the palm of my hand.I placed my hand over the sink-as the blood started pouring out.He gasped-grabbed my hand-and put it under running water.I pulled it out-and there was a pink scar-quickly fading away."What-"
"I know,"
"How-"
"I wish I could Explain."
"Why-"
"I don't know."
He shook his head,and laid my hand in his.There wasn't even a slight mark anymore.
"Wow."
"I know.It's even better with a broken bone-"
"Lets not resort to that,okay?"
"Okay."
*****
SIDE NOTE:CAN ANYONE GUESS WHO IT IS?LEAVE A COMMENT TELLING ME WHO!!!!!!