No Way Out: Excerpt One

Reads: 13 | Chapters: 1 |

Okay, I'm bored, and I really wanted to see what people thought of excerpts from the horror story I'm making. These are just excerpts from scattered parts of the story. This DOES NOT mean my story's finished...I'm no where close to it...
The genres are horror with a little bit of supernatural...
This is a ROUGH DRAFT! So constructive critism is strongly encouraged.

Chapter 1

Excerpt One: No Way Out

Brandon shot his hunting rifle, once, twice, again and again, but the staggering disfigured things kept coming. To his left; Scott, Luke and Little Jeremy were doing everything in their power to keep the monsters at bay. To his right, Morgan and Evelyn were hiding in a dead hollow tree, hiding from the carnage unfolding in front of them along with the monsters that were trying to kill their dear friends.
Little Jeremiah Kelly, only fifteen, fighting the rumor of the woods itself. Brandon sympathized him; Jeremy had never seen a battlefield, not even in movies, and he had so much to look forward to. Brandon, himself, was a different story; he had seen bloodshed in Iraq, he had seen violent war movies, hell he was twenty four years old and almost nothing to look forward to. Brandon took a quick glance at Scott and nearly screamed.
Scott felt white hot pain in his arm, and blood running down his wrist. He whirled around to see the most frightening sight of his life. He froze on the spot in fear. The creature, knowing somehow that he couldn't do a god damn thing, hauled him in the air, and threw him into the tree where Morgan and Evelyn were hiding. Evelyn poked her head out to see what had happened, nearly just as she did; she shriekedand ducked back into the tree, dragging Morgan with her.
Brandon was distracted by all of the commotion to not realize that he had dropped his gun and was completely vunerable to whatever was coming straight at him. One of the zombies, whom he thought was dead, grabbed him by the ankle and bit him. Brandon screamedat the new pain and fell to the ground. The zombies turned their attention to the war veteran bleeding on the ground faster than Luke could reload. The swarm of upright decaying bodies sprinted toward a helpless Brandon.
"Brandon!" Morgan shrieked, "Move!"
Brandon struggled to get up and crawl away, but the zombies had already reached him. Luke charged forward to help, but was stopped dead by an unseen force. Luke screamed for his friend to fight back, but Brandon didn't seem to hear him. Scott pushed him from behind and they ran toward the mob of the undead.
"Brandon, wake up!" Jeremy came out from his hiding place screaming, "Please wake up, please!" Beginning to cry, Jeremy fell to his knees and dropped his handgun.
"Don't you dare die on us Brandon Mitchell!" Scott yelled at his motionless friend, but what he saw almost made him throw up.
Jeremy screamed in horror, and Luke ran behind a tree and threw up. Morgan and Evelyn had climbed out of the tree when the zombies ran away by some unseen and unheard call. Evelyn fainted and Morgan shrieked at the sight.
Brandon's stomach and chest cavity had been ripped open. His insides were in ruins. Blood pooled out from underneath his skull and a trickle of blood trailed from the corner of his lips. His eyes still open and his mouth gape from the silent scream he made before he died. Many of his vital organs were either destroyed and mangled or missing. It looked as if he had been eaten from the inside out. Blood soaked everything; the dirt, his clothes, everything around him. What made the scene the five remainingfriends saw even more nightmarish was that Brandon's heart lay torn out not a foot away...still beating.

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Created by NemoNobody

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NemoNobody
15, Female
in my room...listening to music..., AZ, US

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