Undecided (For your safety read intro)

I was the most beautiful of all the women of my city Arcadian. Every man to and fro found me quite ravishing. I am not one to be modest or shy about my feelings towards certain things. If I do or did something I felt absolutely no remorse about it. And certainly didn't think twice of it. I harnessed such arrogance from my father, the king to the throne. You could say my father wasn't a cruel man, but to me it seems he is, because no one knows him like I do. After all I am the one he hates more than he would any of his enemies. I know what your thinking such a man of astounding quality and grace could never hate his only daughter, his heir to the thrown. Oh, but that is where you would be quite wrong. He could and he did. Why? because he believes I am responsible for my mother's (his wife's) death.

I was with her when she died, but there was nothing I could do. At the time I didn't blame him. I was so distraught with grief that I actually believed I was the cause of this pain. But I wasn't, it was a wild animal who mutilated my mother. I was just the one close enough to hear her screams. I screamed and screamed for someone to help me, eventually someone did, but by then it was already too late. My father stayed by her side all that night even though she was dead. I stood in the doorway and watched him, watched her hoping against hope that she would just take a deep breath and all would be well. But she didn't and all was not well. From that day on my father had ceased to utter a single word to me. Her screams forever haunted my dreams, they drove me so mad that one night I ran screaming through the woods hoping to silence the eerie screams. Until the gardner found me and helped me back to my rooms. I do not believe I was able sleep the rest of that night.

Now it is almost 10 years later since it happened and I am now 16 years of age and my father is already remarried with three sons. Nathanial who is now nine, and George IV, who is named after my father, and George IV's twin brother, Jonathan are now seven. And they are just as devious and conniving as their mother. The lot of them have the whole kingdom fooled, but not me. I see them for what they truly are; slippery little snakes. Their mother, Andromeda, has my father wrapped around her slim, skinny little finger. She hasn't much care for me, nor I her. She tries to bad-mouth me to my father whenever she can. There's really no need for such a thing considering he already dislikes me, but I guess she is absolutely delighted to watch my father turn his nose down upon me. So do her snotty sons. I do not believe I am in anyway related to any of them neither is my father. I have seen her, Andromeda, take another man into her bedchambers and close the door and it certainly isn't to have a word with him in private. I hear soft moans and animalistic sounds as I can hear him taking her and sometimes her taking him. I believe the lover is her children's father, he has to be he looks just like them. She thinks no one does not know, but he and her. It is treason for the wife of the king to lie with another man and if anyone happens upon this madness her and her lover will be put to death.

I wished to tell someone, anyone, but who would believe me especially when they were so enthralled with her and her lovely children. I even imagined telling my father, but I knew that was in no way possible. I had to leave I had to get away, I didn't need to stay. I was hardly invited to supper. I only came down to feast with other royalties like myself when a party was being hosted. This was no longer my home, it hasn't been for 10 years since my mother died. My father had a new family now and to him his only daughter which he had had with his first wife was dead with her mother. I had said as much to him before making my departure to see what his response would be. For the first time in 10 years my father looked up from his letter of business and into my eyes and said, "Perhaps you are right, my first family did die with my first wife." I did not let on that his words had hurt me, I did not even blink. I have readied myself for this for 10 years. Now I know without mistake that it is time for me to go and be on my own. I curtsied and apologized for the disturbance. I did not cry until after my most invaluable things were packed and I had taken some of the servants clothers to hide my true identity and the adorned necklace my mother had given me the afternoon before she died. I shall treasure it now more than ever.