Spirit of secret.

The pavement was iced over with snow.The air had that harsh acid tang of coldness and bitter weather.Every sound was muffled because of the cold cotton mesh the snow had created around everything.
I had the leftover taste of over cooked coffee beans and dust in my mouth and it just wouldn't go away.My bag drooped off of my shoulder,The coarse nylon strap cutting straight through my Parka,Cardi and thermal top.A car slogged by me and huffed round the turn at the end of the road.
I lived in one of the little inconsequential suburbs an hours drive away from the nearest city.It was just far enough that the neighbourhood was pretty clean of serious crime but far enough that commuting to the city was a bother.
My garden path was full of foot impressions and the wide patches of grass either side had sodden grass poking through from the gouge marks small hands had made.The foundations of a snowman lay crumbling at the edge of the garden and lights blazed from every single one of the windows.
The key was a chip of ice in my frost frozen fingers and it hurt to shove the key into the lock but i managed it.As soon as i did,The noise of my family,My 14 member family washed over me like scalding water.It was such a shock from the silence i'd been standing in.The smell of fajitas and spice mix clashed with the outside world and i was that little less cold.
Like normal,It was chaos inside.My Mom stood by the stove,fussing over a pan of something,One of my baby brothers latched onto her hip.My 3 year old sister,Tiffy came bounding over to me,her little t-shirt stained with dinner.
I snatched her up into a hug and plunged into the whirlwind of family.The voices of everyone clouded through my head and i could feel a headache beginning at my temples.I somehow ended up at the base of the stairs,small toddler replaced with a plate of food and my Parka had been thoughtfully removed.I walked up the stairs and headed for the ladder.
I'd lived in the attic for as long as i can remember,Being the oldest girl,My parents thought i should have a room to myself.
It was a bit of a struggle getting up the rungs with a plate in my hand and my bag hanging off my shoulder but i managed it.I dragged the ladder up and switched on my bedside.Weak light struggled through the thick cover of one of my textbooks.I slapped it away and blinked a few times.
Voices filtered up through the boards and made my room feel that little less dead.I switched on the t.v anyway,shoved books and stuff off of my desk and set the plate down.I threw myself down onto my big,old four poster and just breathed.
It felt nice to just slump after a whole evening of pulling shots of coffee for wannabe novelist and rich girls I was forced to smile at.
The local news played on the small screen of my t.v,Bought and paid for with my own money.The weather report scrolled across the bottom of the screen.It basically said snow,snow and more snow with the possibility of hail.My body shivered at the possibility and my stomach grumbled for food,All i'd had to eat since lunch was half a breakfast bar and some carrot sticks.I decided to ignore it and just enjoyed the almost silence that settled over my coffee stained mind.
I didn't get a chance to eat because I passed out before i even managed to take my boots off.