Devil's Water

Flashback: My head is laying against his shoulder, his arm protectively wrapped around me. I lift my head up and he turns and meets my eyes. We sit like that for a second and for eternity. He leans over and kisses my forehead, then the tip of my nose, then my lips. He stays there, for a second, for an eternity. In that second, I feel a spate of emotions go through my head: love, safety, happiness, and the sense that this is it; this is forever. Too bad that was never.

I close down on the memory. It is wrong to think of that at such a time. Matt kisses my forehead. He puts his arm around me and pulls me to him, to rough for me. He laughs loudly in my ear, but it is a loud, annoying laugh, the type that rattles around in your head after.

"She's my girl!" he yells to some guys. I smile on the outside, but grimace on the inside. I am not 'his girl'. I am not anyone's 'girl' anymore. Those days are gone.

Matt nuzzles my jaw bone, making me cringe. He laughs (ugh), then starts fiddling with my hair. I have told him every time he does that that I hate it. I know he is a meathead, but seriously?

"Be back," I say, standing up in a rush. "I need to...go to the restroom."

"Bye, babe." Babe?! I grimace. What the heck.

I sit down on the edge of the bathtub in the bathroom and put my head in my hands. How the heck did I get in this mess? Oh yeah. I screwed up the best thing I had.