A Story Written By My Very Demented, Drunken MInd

An old man lay on a hospital bed, groping at his pockets for ciggarets that werent there. He grumbled to himself, cursing the hospital rules of "No Smoking". Shut the Hell up.
A young nurse walked in. She had red hair, light brown eyes and was very pretty. The old man found it fun to tease this nurse a lot... MOstly because he was a skirt chaser.
"Well, sir," the woman said. "I'm afraid you dont have very long. Is there anybody you need me to call?"
The old man snorted. "All my family abandoned me years ago, honey. HEy, could you pick up that magazine over there?" He enjoyed watching her bend over, her tiny body reaching for the magazine. The man grinned.
The nurse rolled her eyes. "I'll be nice to you because of your condition..."
"Bah, it's just lung cancer. Play a game of poker with me."
"Sir, I have other patients.."
"T'hell with 'em."
So the nurse pulled up a chair, while the old man pulled out a pack of cards from his bag. "Do you happen to have a ciggarett?" he asked the nurse.
"This is a no smoking campus," she replied stonily. When he only raised an eyebrow she shrugged and pulled a long, white ciggarett from a Camel carton. The old man took it gratefuly while the nurse got up to turn off the smoke alarm in the room.
"You're sure you dont have anybody for me to call?" the nurse asked. "No wife? KIds? Friends?"
"Nothin. You deal."
She gave him quizzical looks as she dealed the cards.
"So, whats your story?" the man asked her. "Working for a degree?"
"Nah. I'm just gonna stay about where I am. The job pays fine."
"Hmm."
"What about you?"
"HUh?"
"Do you have a story? Why no wife or anything?"
"Because I'm a nutorious jackass."
The nurse laughed, then asked, "How so?"
"Well, I screwed my life up pretty good when I was young. I had a pretty girl, and my family was rich. But I got into a habit of gambling. Lost the girl. Lost the money."
"So... Classic jackass?"
"Did anybody ever tell you that you got the bedside manner of an anrgy elephant?"
The nurse shrugged.
"So how did you loose the girl?"
"We had a pretty bad fight. I loved her a lot."
"Ah."
They sat in scilence for a while, just playing poker. The man began to cough violently, and then finaly the heart monitor acted up. The nurse stabilized it, and tried to run for a doctor.
"No, no," the old man said. "Finnish the game."
And so they did.
"Any plans for the future?" the old man asked the nurse.
"Right now they involve beating you at poker," said the nurse.
"Huh," said the old man, as his head began to drop to his chest, his eyes closing.
"Give Jesus my regards," the nurse said.
"I doubt that's where I'm goin' hun..." the old man said. The room went blurry, and slowly faded away.