Things I am not to do at Hogwarts

Things I will not do.

Please select all that apply.

• The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason. I may not tell First Years that there is a party down there.
• Blaise Zabini is not my 'brotha from anotha motha'. I am not allowed to call him that.
• I am not allowed to smack others with my wand. For whatever reason – if I have a problem with somebody, I must go to a teacher.
• I am not the Easter Bunny.
• I am not allowed to tell people I am the Easter Bunny.
• Just because I dress up in a rabbit costume, it does not mean I'm the Easter Bunny; it means I'm weird.
• I may not attempt to breed House Elves.
• I am not allowed to ask First Years if they need help 'polishing their wand'. No matter how funny their reactions are.
• Hagrid is not going to eat me.
• Building a giant model of the moon made entirely of cheese is not an acceptable extra-credit assignment.
• I may not question Ernie as to where 'Bert' is.
• I may not tell Professor Snape that I think he's sexy.
• Nor may I tell him that I want to have his babies.
• I may not tell people that if they anger me I will eat their first born child.
• Voldemort is not my uncle.
• It is not my 'duty' to inform the staff of the large bag of weed under Goyle's bed.
• Especially if it turns out to be regular cut grass.
• Professor Dumbledore is not a woman in disguise; I may not tell everyone that he is.
• I won't tell students that its Lupin's "Time of The Month" again when he comes back from a hunting trip covered in blood.
• I am not allowed to try and kiss the Giant Squid.
• I may not attempt to eat Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris.
• Nor may I attempt to eat his pants.
• Stripping during breakfast is not a great way to show Gryffindor bravery; I may not do it.
• I am not allowed to scream "Rhape! Rhape!" in a public place every time Professor Snape walks by.
• Trevor is not food.

What do you think?

• You are VERY strange
• eh, it was okay...