Denying Myself
"Minds, like bodies, will often fall into a pimpled, ill-conditioned state from mere excess of comfort." -Charles Dickens
I have a snowglobe in my room on my dresser. My grandparents gave it to me for Christmas when I was ten. hoping they would get me to visit them in New York City. It displayed the famous city skyline with gentle specs of white floating around their gleaming towers. This perfect replica of Christmas in New York represents tranquility, right? Wrong.
I somehow can twist my mind around this scene to make it look like my town. The same scene plays in my mind everytime I press my nose to the cold glass. The people of Saybrook, Ohio stroll around town. Even today, I'm not sure why there were so many people out on the streets. My best guess was they were windowshopping; I try to believe they were out with some kind of purpose. I recognize all of them; it pays off to stay at one place your whole life. My parents and my closest friends are out without me. I am the only familiar face that does not appear on the streets.
The whole town is buzzing with excitement, again probably over holiday shopping or something like that. I can feel the delight penetrating through my mind and the snow melting against my nerves, attempting to relax any disturbances. But I know this globe's trick after watching it countless times. The soft particles of snow turn into ice, binding my nerves. The snowflakes cohere to create sharp icicles pointing to the city below. The people are oblivious to the threat above them. This is probably because the sky betrays them by staying blue. This is not like a movie where a terrible outcome could be predicted through terrible weather. The icicles begin to fall at the command of a loud snapping noise. I cannot help but scream as Mother Nature's daggers fall towards my city. But everytime, they stop just feet above everyone's heads. They tease me for a period of time that feels different everytime I watch this. If I could break from this vision, I could keep track of how long the ice daggers hover there. Eventually, the daggers melt to water. The pool of water above swirls around ferociously and joins Lake Erie at the edge of town. The hissing water arouses the lake water; they combine to form massive waves that could form a blanket that hides the whole town. And this is exactly what happens. The blanket plunges onto the oblivious people. I try to shut my eyes at this point, but the icy ropes on my nerves will not let me look away. I see nothing but hear the screeching of the titanic buildings as they fell. I never hear any screams from people. I never found out if my parents or anyone else even realized what was happening. The crushing waves ruled this scene. There was so much water falling on the city, it sounded like steel was being twisted together, causing misery to every nearby ear. It seemed endless to me until the icy ropes in my head released me and a wave had noticed me and ran me over. This snowglobe really seemed to have a force since I ended up knocked against my bed. Far away from this snowglobe.
When I regain my stability, I scramble to remember what I was doing that made me want to review that horrible scene constantly. But the only thing I could remember from before is that I was thinking about the girl I was in love with.
I somehow can twist my mind around this scene to make it look like my town. The same scene plays in my mind everytime I press my nose to the cold glass. The people of Saybrook, Ohio stroll around town. Even today, I'm not sure why there were so many people out on the streets. My best guess was they were windowshopping; I try to believe they were out with some kind of purpose. I recognize all of them; it pays off to stay at one place your whole life. My parents and my closest friends are out without me. I am the only familiar face that does not appear on the streets.
The whole town is buzzing with excitement, again probably over holiday shopping or something like that. I can feel the delight penetrating through my mind and the snow melting against my nerves, attempting to relax any disturbances. But I know this globe's trick after watching it countless times. The soft particles of snow turn into ice, binding my nerves. The snowflakes cohere to create sharp icicles pointing to the city below. The people are oblivious to the threat above them. This is probably because the sky betrays them by staying blue. This is not like a movie where a terrible outcome could be predicted through terrible weather. The icicles begin to fall at the command of a loud snapping noise. I cannot help but scream as Mother Nature's daggers fall towards my city. But everytime, they stop just feet above everyone's heads. They tease me for a period of time that feels different everytime I watch this. If I could break from this vision, I could keep track of how long the ice daggers hover there. Eventually, the daggers melt to water. The pool of water above swirls around ferociously and joins Lake Erie at the edge of town. The hissing water arouses the lake water; they combine to form massive waves that could form a blanket that hides the whole town. And this is exactly what happens. The blanket plunges onto the oblivious people. I try to shut my eyes at this point, but the icy ropes on my nerves will not let me look away. I see nothing but hear the screeching of the titanic buildings as they fell. I never hear any screams from people. I never found out if my parents or anyone else even realized what was happening. The crushing waves ruled this scene. There was so much water falling on the city, it sounded like steel was being twisted together, causing misery to every nearby ear. It seemed endless to me until the icy ropes in my head released me and a wave had noticed me and ran me over. This snowglobe really seemed to have a force since I ended up knocked against my bed. Far away from this snowglobe.
When I regain my stability, I scramble to remember what I was doing that made me want to review that horrible scene constantly. But the only thing I could remember from before is that I was thinking about the girl I was in love with.
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