The Playlist of a Teenage Dream
I'm sorry for the title, I don't have a final title yet and I thought that Katy Perry's song is a big inspiration so I made it my temporary title....
And it has the word playlist in it because the Chapter titles are named after real life songs:D The chapter titles are also temporary...
The first chapter is: Perfectly Lonely (a song by John Mayer)
Please tell me your insights:D
ENJOY!
Miserable.
If I could describe in only a single word how I am right now, it would be miserable.
In fact I am too miserable right now that I’d be willing to do the craziest thing you could possibly think of.
Now, don’t misunderstand. I don’t hate life. I don’t hate my life. I just hate everything that is happening now—well, most of the things. And I also hate the fact that, while a lot of things had happened, well, nothing has happened at all. Nothing interesting. Nothing that would make me say, ‘Oh, I would wake up everyday gladly and face everyone happily!’ No.
I guess, now you’re asking yourself, ‘is she crazy?’ or maybe you’re telling yourself, “No, I don’t get her.”
So we could be on the same page here, let me share you some of my recent ‘experiences’:
1. I’ve never had a boyfriend.
2. I’ve been ‘fan-girling’ recently with this famous rock star (and, fine, his band)
3. I can’t eat sweets—chocolates included, yes—and junk food, which includes coffee, soda and everything you need to live a happy life.
4. I have to pass my college entrance tests.
5. …..and in order to do #5, I have to maintain my grades.
6. I can’t go out with my friends.
7. My parents are just too strict.
8. My best friend and I aren’t really friends anymore.
9. My life is boring.
10. I just don’t know what to do.
Those are just 10 of the many reasons that I may claim the right to call myself miserable.
I actually hate sulking; and as much as I want to just runaway to this alternate universe where such things don’t exist and just live happily, I know I can’t leave these issues untouched. Unresolved. I’m just not that kind of person.
Now, let me explain more and let me tell you why I shouldn’t leave these things ‘unattended’.
You know how you love your best friend since the 7th grade? I love mine like that too. She’s lovely and perfectly fine as my friend. Though maybe some people couldn’t take her at times, I remained at her side and listened. Comforted her when she needs it, tried to give her some cheesy joke just to make her laugh when she’s down, gave her all the support that could be given. I just don’t know how 4 years of friendship could just be thrown away like that. And I don’t even know how it happened.
I just miss Tracy. I miss my best friend.
I came across this quote about friendship and it said,
“True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it is lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton
Do we really need to lose it now to see its value and be too late?
Second thing I’m gonna have to rant about is how strict my parents are. You know, they’re fun. But they just won’t let me have fun. I want to live my life as a teenager should. But I couldn’t. When my classmates are attending parties and socializing, where would I be? I’d be in my bedroom, alone. When they would go out and have fun, have girls’ night outs, I’d have a night in—in my bedroom. Again. What I mean is, I understand that my parents just want to protect me but I just want freedom. I just want to experience the world I live in. Not just my bedroom. I love them for who they are, really, but I just wish I could have a little more freedom.
I know I sound such a loner and such a loser right now but, I tell you. I have friends. I have friends who really are always with me. It’s just different, you know. Starting all over again with new people. Making them understand how your parents are. How you just couldn’t go out with them. It’s difficult to build a bond with this kind of living.
There are just times when I wish I could just do things. Experience life and what it is. Learn from mistakes. I just don’t like the feeling of being confined in a world which is not real. A world where I won’t get hurt, won’t make mistakes or even won’t know my true self.
Though I got used to being alone most of the time, I still want to see the world out there. I want to try new things. I want to get wild and tamed. I want to get a grip on how the world works out there. Or maybe, simply put, maybe I just want to experience the euphoric feeling of love.
“Bailey! Your ride is here come down now…Don’t forget to bring your snacks, dear.” Whoops. My mom’s calling me now.
If I could describe in only a single word how I am right now, it would be miserable.
In fact I am too miserable right now that I’d be willing to do the craziest thing you could possibly think of.
Now, don’t misunderstand. I don’t hate life. I don’t hate my life. I just hate everything that is happening now—well, most of the things. And I also hate the fact that, while a lot of things had happened, well, nothing has happened at all. Nothing interesting. Nothing that would make me say, ‘Oh, I would wake up everyday gladly and face everyone happily!’ No.
I guess, now you’re asking yourself, ‘is she crazy?’ or maybe you’re telling yourself, “No, I don’t get her.”
So we could be on the same page here, let me share you some of my recent ‘experiences’:
1. I’ve never had a boyfriend.
2. I’ve been ‘fan-girling’ recently with this famous rock star (and, fine, his band)
3. I can’t eat sweets—chocolates included, yes—and junk food, which includes coffee, soda and everything you need to live a happy life.
4. I have to pass my college entrance tests.
5. …..and in order to do #5, I have to maintain my grades.
6. I can’t go out with my friends.
7. My parents are just too strict.
8. My best friend and I aren’t really friends anymore.
9. My life is boring.
10. I just don’t know what to do.
Those are just 10 of the many reasons that I may claim the right to call myself miserable.
I actually hate sulking; and as much as I want to just runaway to this alternate universe where such things don’t exist and just live happily, I know I can’t leave these issues untouched. Unresolved. I’m just not that kind of person.
Now, let me explain more and let me tell you why I shouldn’t leave these things ‘unattended’.
You know how you love your best friend since the 7th grade? I love mine like that too. She’s lovely and perfectly fine as my friend. Though maybe some people couldn’t take her at times, I remained at her side and listened. Comforted her when she needs it, tried to give her some cheesy joke just to make her laugh when she’s down, gave her all the support that could be given. I just don’t know how 4 years of friendship could just be thrown away like that. And I don’t even know how it happened.
I just miss Tracy. I miss my best friend.
I came across this quote about friendship and it said,
“True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it is lost."
- Charles Caleb Colton
Do we really need to lose it now to see its value and be too late?
Second thing I’m gonna have to rant about is how strict my parents are. You know, they’re fun. But they just won’t let me have fun. I want to live my life as a teenager should. But I couldn’t. When my classmates are attending parties and socializing, where would I be? I’d be in my bedroom, alone. When they would go out and have fun, have girls’ night outs, I’d have a night in—in my bedroom. Again. What I mean is, I understand that my parents just want to protect me but I just want freedom. I just want to experience the world I live in. Not just my bedroom. I love them for who they are, really, but I just wish I could have a little more freedom.
I know I sound such a loner and such a loser right now but, I tell you. I have friends. I have friends who really are always with me. It’s just different, you know. Starting all over again with new people. Making them understand how your parents are. How you just couldn’t go out with them. It’s difficult to build a bond with this kind of living.
There are just times when I wish I could just do things. Experience life and what it is. Learn from mistakes. I just don’t like the feeling of being confined in a world which is not real. A world where I won’t get hurt, won’t make mistakes or even won’t know my true self.
Though I got used to being alone most of the time, I still want to see the world out there. I want to try new things. I want to get wild and tamed. I want to get a grip on how the world works out there. Or maybe, simply put, maybe I just want to experience the euphoric feeling of love.
“Bailey! Your ride is here come down now…Don’t forget to bring your snacks, dear.” Whoops. My mom’s calling me now.
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