Once loved by Death ( a vampire love story)
PLZ COMMENT! Tell me your opinions! What should I do better?
Chapter 1
Greetings
It was late and I had just come up from a wild party at Jesse's house. I decided to go home after some of his friends had become drunk and delirious, he had begged me not to go, especially considering the fact I was his girlfriend but I didnt want to ruin my life over a couple bottles of beers. Even though that was the case I wish he had walked me home. Instead of thinking it to myself and regretting the fact I left his party even though beer was involved I decided to ignore it so I trudged forward with wild gusting winds blowing threw me, chilling me to the bone and as I turned around the corner, all of a sudden a young man stepped out in front of me, fear griped me onto the cold concrete as he turned his head with a menacing smile, swiftly and forcefully grabbing me by the arms making me let out a moan of pain. “Dont worry it'll all be over soon." he said pulling me closer. I tried to pull away but here I was fighting like an animal clawing, and scratching but he was to strong for me, although I wasnt ready to give up. He laughed as I struggled like a helpless child “Your not strong little one, give up you know you can't beat me"
Giving every last bit of strength I had I forcefully kicked him below the belt and with a surprised look he released me. Given the chance I ran for it. My feet pounded hard againsest the pavement, but it was no use I could hear him approaching at speed from behind with in second of my escape he was on me, throwing me to the ground, restraining me.
“Silly girl you cant beat me." he laughed as I made desperate attempts for air “ Ill make this quick and painless."
Before I had the chance to realize what was going to happen I could feel the painful sting of his teeth sinking into my neck. A burning pain roared through me like a fire raging as followed by a deep and peaceful unconsciousness.
Giving every last bit of strength I had I forcefully kicked him below the belt and with a surprised look he released me. Given the chance I ran for it. My feet pounded hard againsest the pavement, but it was no use I could hear him approaching at speed from behind with in second of my escape he was on me, throwing me to the ground, restraining me.
“Silly girl you cant beat me." he laughed as I made desperate attempts for air “ Ill make this quick and painless."
Before I had the chance to realize what was going to happen I could feel the painful sting of his teeth sinking into my neck. A burning pain roared through me like a fire raging as followed by a deep and peaceful unconsciousness.



2 Comments
Its really good. I would write another chapter to it really soon because not many people have read this so it will be good to add more. I think this is going to be a hit but honestly no one knows. Things happen already really quick, I like to try and space things out because its a challenge for me but for a first story its really good.
I havent been getting a lot of comments can you like show this story to ur friends and tell them 2 comment?