My Days..
Well, If you happen to read this, well, basically its my diary cuz some people at my house are nosy, not gonna name any names (DAD!!!), and I just need to talk(or write!) about some stuff. Ummm.. I don't really care if you read this, BUT, DO NOT judge me, and don't tell nobody... lol
MONDAY - TUESDAY:
Racial tension is choking me. Some black people at my school is making fun of me because my boyfriend is white(I'm black if you couldn't tell). But the stupid part is that they hate me. Most ALL the black people at my school at me for no reason, yet when the hear that I'm dating a white guy, they want to get on my case. Anyways, I don't care what they say to me, because I'm not going to dump him for such shallow and rascist reasons. They can say all their crap to me, but if they say anything to him, I'm going to lose it and just kill someone. I absolutely HATE it when poeple are mean to my guy. I'm trying my best to keep him away from the people whos sayin the crap(I had to push him past them when we were walking home one day so they would leave him alone). Its died down and no ones sayin nothin about it so I'm cool. Geez, why the heck are some poeple so racist?
WEDNESDAY
Okay. This is going to sound lame. We've been dating for 5 months now and today is the FIRST time he told me he loves me. Yes, I know, weird, but true. I would tell him I love him, but he would say somethin stupid like "Same here". I almost killed him. Then one time I asked him," Do you love me?" and he said " Umm, yes." Then I asked him why he hesitated, and he said he had to think about it. I almost choked him. But today when I told him I love him, he actually said I love you too. Stupid, but I've been wondering whether he loves me or not. Unfortunately, I still don't really think he loves me, well not as much as I love him anyways. Gosh, stupid love and emotions. Anyway, today I started a standerized test that last all week. Well only today and Thursday for me. I had to stay in my english room all day except for two periods that I have encore in. The test was pretty easy.
THURSDAY
Today, I stayed in my math room all day for the math session of the test. When my teacher was out of the room for a while, kids started talking, of course. One of my friends asked my guy if he wanted to kiss me. I started freaking out. Now, both me and my guy are Christians, we go to the same church. Dating at my age is frowned upon by the pastor, so kissing is a big no no. Not only to him, but to me, my parents, Christian, and his parents. So naturally, I kept sayin that he didn't want to kiss me, until my friend said shut up, let him answer. He was about to say the answer, but our teacher came into the room so we had to be quiet. The thing is, it didn't sound like he was going to say no. I guess it didn't sound like he was going to say yes either but its kinda scary not knowing. Him wanting to kiss me is a big propblem, to say the least. I mean, I guess I can't blame him because sometimes I want to kiss him too. But I don't want him even thinking anout it, cuz the day he steps out of line, I'm going to have no choice but to break up with him and I REALLY don't want to do that. Crap, what else may he be thinking about....
FRIDAY
After testing all week, today was just a 'left-over' Friday. We didn't do like anything basically. Today was my science teacher's Birthday(I was like the only student that remebered :}), so I was all like,"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, happy birthday!!"(I was also a little hyper) He was tried to tell me his birthday was yesterday, but I was like "Mr. ____, that's not funny!!" and he started laughing. It not nice when teachers lie to thier students. Regardless, my freind and I started singing Happy Birthday, then whole class caught on. It was unorganized, loud, and funny. He told us that it was horrible. It was. I admit. Then in the second to last class period, I took Christian's book when he wasn't looking. He didn't figure out I took it, so when he was odne with his work, he went to the gym lockerroom to look for it! I returned his books with his other stuff but he didn't get them until the bell rang for passing period. Then when he got to our next class, he pointed at me and yelled, "YOU JERK!!" I was dying in laughter but asked him, "What did I do?" Then he was like, "You took my books!!" It was more like a question because he didn't actually know that I did, but my laughter gave it away. Then he kept giving me his "mad" face, its kinda like hes mad and embarrased but not really. Its cute and funny.
SATURDAY
A Saturday. Due to not having a life, I usually don't really do anything on weekends. I went to the laundry mat with Chaun and my grandma. Then We went to my aunt's house so Grandma could do her hair. That's about it. Though it sounds very boring, it was actually quite fun. When your with family, don't you just have fun by default? Hmm..Maybe it's just me. I guess I spent some time on here. Going on the computer is usually what I do. O.o
SUNDAY
Today I went to church and learned something valuable. What I learned, basically, was that everyone is going to answer up to God about all our sins. The blood Jesus shed on the cross is the only reason why our sins are forgiven. Also, I learned that rushing through life isn't helpful. Always wanting to grow up or get older or impatience, for that matter, isn't God's plan. We should be thankful of where we are right now. That also goes with being single. That there are things to learn and things to do in these periods of time. That there's no need to rush into relationships. Those lessons made me think of how I was living my life, and how I needed to change. I was sad thinking about how my life has been going. This might be a little confusing, so heres an illustration to explain. A man that was in a video we watched once had a dream that he was in a room that had nothing but filing cabinets. In them was everything he ever did. As he was looking through them, he quickly angered for there were things in their he never wanted anyone else to see about him. Then a man walked in the room and read every single thing in them. The man who had walked in was Jesus. The man didn't want Jesus to read the files, and started grieving. But Jesus soon greived with him, but continued reading. Once he was finished, he smeared His blood on the man's name that was on all the filing cabinets. Then He said,"It is finished," the man had been forgiven. Our actions shows our lives. So we should live them to the best it can be.
Racial tension is choking me. Some black people at my school is making fun of me because my boyfriend is white(I'm black if you couldn't tell). But the stupid part is that they hate me. Most ALL the black people at my school at me for no reason, yet when the hear that I'm dating a white guy, they want to get on my case. Anyways, I don't care what they say to me, because I'm not going to dump him for such shallow and rascist reasons. They can say all their crap to me, but if they say anything to him, I'm going to lose it and just kill someone. I absolutely HATE it when poeple are mean to my guy. I'm trying my best to keep him away from the people whos sayin the crap(I had to push him past them when we were walking home one day so they would leave him alone). Its died down and no ones sayin nothin about it so I'm cool. Geez, why the heck are some poeple so racist?
WEDNESDAY
Okay. This is going to sound lame. We've been dating for 5 months now and today is the FIRST time he told me he loves me. Yes, I know, weird, but true. I would tell him I love him, but he would say somethin stupid like "Same here". I almost killed him. Then one time I asked him," Do you love me?" and he said " Umm, yes." Then I asked him why he hesitated, and he said he had to think about it. I almost choked him. But today when I told him I love him, he actually said I love you too. Stupid, but I've been wondering whether he loves me or not. Unfortunately, I still don't really think he loves me, well not as much as I love him anyways. Gosh, stupid love and emotions. Anyway, today I started a standerized test that last all week. Well only today and Thursday for me. I had to stay in my english room all day except for two periods that I have encore in. The test was pretty easy.
THURSDAY
Today, I stayed in my math room all day for the math session of the test. When my teacher was out of the room for a while, kids started talking, of course. One of my friends asked my guy if he wanted to kiss me. I started freaking out. Now, both me and my guy are Christians, we go to the same church. Dating at my age is frowned upon by the pastor, so kissing is a big no no. Not only to him, but to me, my parents, Christian, and his parents. So naturally, I kept sayin that he didn't want to kiss me, until my friend said shut up, let him answer. He was about to say the answer, but our teacher came into the room so we had to be quiet. The thing is, it didn't sound like he was going to say no. I guess it didn't sound like he was going to say yes either but its kinda scary not knowing. Him wanting to kiss me is a big propblem, to say the least. I mean, I guess I can't blame him because sometimes I want to kiss him too. But I don't want him even thinking anout it, cuz the day he steps out of line, I'm going to have no choice but to break up with him and I REALLY don't want to do that. Crap, what else may he be thinking about....
FRIDAY
After testing all week, today was just a 'left-over' Friday. We didn't do like anything basically. Today was my science teacher's Birthday(I was like the only student that remebered :}), so I was all like,"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, happy birthday!!"(I was also a little hyper) He was tried to tell me his birthday was yesterday, but I was like "Mr. ____, that's not funny!!" and he started laughing. It not nice when teachers lie to thier students. Regardless, my freind and I started singing Happy Birthday, then whole class caught on. It was unorganized, loud, and funny. He told us that it was horrible. It was. I admit. Then in the second to last class period, I took Christian's book when he wasn't looking. He didn't figure out I took it, so when he was odne with his work, he went to the gym lockerroom to look for it! I returned his books with his other stuff but he didn't get them until the bell rang for passing period. Then when he got to our next class, he pointed at me and yelled, "YOU JERK!!" I was dying in laughter but asked him, "What did I do?" Then he was like, "You took my books!!" It was more like a question because he didn't actually know that I did, but my laughter gave it away. Then he kept giving me his "mad" face, its kinda like hes mad and embarrased but not really. Its cute and funny.
SATURDAY
A Saturday. Due to not having a life, I usually don't really do anything on weekends. I went to the laundry mat with Chaun and my grandma. Then We went to my aunt's house so Grandma could do her hair. That's about it. Though it sounds very boring, it was actually quite fun. When your with family, don't you just have fun by default? Hmm..Maybe it's just me. I guess I spent some time on here. Going on the computer is usually what I do. O.o
SUNDAY
Today I went to church and learned something valuable. What I learned, basically, was that everyone is going to answer up to God about all our sins. The blood Jesus shed on the cross is the only reason why our sins are forgiven. Also, I learned that rushing through life isn't helpful. Always wanting to grow up or get older or impatience, for that matter, isn't God's plan. We should be thankful of where we are right now. That also goes with being single. That there are things to learn and things to do in these periods of time. That there's no need to rush into relationships. Those lessons made me think of how I was living my life, and how I needed to change. I was sad thinking about how my life has been going. This might be a little confusing, so heres an illustration to explain. A man that was in a video we watched once had a dream that he was in a room that had nothing but filing cabinets. In them was everything he ever did. As he was looking through them, he quickly angered for there were things in their he never wanted anyone else to see about him. Then a man walked in the room and read every single thing in them. The man who had walked in was Jesus. The man didn't want Jesus to read the files, and started grieving. But Jesus soon greived with him, but continued reading. Once he was finished, he smeared His blood on the man's name that was on all the filing cabinets. Then He said,"It is finished," the man had been forgiven. Our actions shows our lives. So we should live them to the best it can be.
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