Why Do I Even Try

When I woke up I cried and cried and cried. Why did I have to say that? I'm so stupid. I look at my clock it reads 4:00 A.M. My cry is silent so I don't wake my mom. I think about what happened and think of how it could have gone differently. Just thinking of it makes me cry harder I lost my best friend. She never even liked me but I'm still hurt. She's moved on and with my ex-best friend. I don't know what to do. I fall asleep in my thoughts. What felt like minutes was hours and at 7:00 my mom wakes me up. I'm not going to tell her what happened. I wait till she leaves to get up. Immediately I move to the bathroom and close the door. I slid to the floor and cry more , turning the shower on to drown out the noise. While taking a shower, I listen to music. It always calms me. When i get out I look in the mirror. My eyes are swollen from crying all night. How am I gonna get through school with most of my classes with her? Then I realize I told her all my secrets, who I had a crush on, the guy i wanted to marry. What if she tells everyone out of spit???? I will have to hide under a rock then.


I get to school and everyone looks at me. Oh Gosh she told people who I like. I guess the saying watch what you say fits in this situation.I walk up to my friend Kate Filey. We have been best friends since kindergarten and then she moved. Then I changed schools and ended being with her again. "Hey Kate," I say as I do every morning. "Hey Vicky," is what I expected her to say, but instead she just nodded her head. Instantly I knew something was up. I couldn't have my best friend not talking to me, not after losing one. That was how my day was, when I would say hi people they would just nod their heads then walk away. Few people gave me mean glares and I knew immediately I was the number 1 hated person and I would be... for a while