When Nothing Goes Right, Going Left Just Makes It Worse ~Dani's Hilarious Diary~

Sunday

4:30 P.M.

Dear Diary,

Um, this is the first time I've ever had a diary before, (just for the record, I feel really stupid doing this) so I don't really know what to say. My mom got me this and told me to "use it to express your feelings". I told her it was the stupidest idea she's ever had, and trust me, this isn't her first.

Besides, I bet she expects me to be all, "OMG, Rachel is so off my friends list!" or "Chad looked at me today! He so likes me!". Then she's going sneak into my room when I'm not home and read everything I wrote. And then she's going to sit me down and say, "Now sweetie, you can always talk to me about boy-trouble...and who is this 'Rachel' character?"

First of all, I'm not like that at all. I'm not prissy or fake like some people. But anyway, that's why I'm hiding this stupid thing behind my bed so she won't find it and give me pointless lectures that I do not give a crap about.

Anyway, am I supposed to introduce myself to you/this? People always write to their diary like it's going to talk back to them, which I find ridiculous. But whatever, it'll amuse me. My name is December Rose Trinity Caimen. Nice name, right?

Yeah, well I hate it. There's my mom for you, naming me after a fricking month. I just tell people to call me Dani, which is a lot more normal than "December".

Can I ask you a question? What the hell is the difference between a diary and a journal? I mean, one thing's for sure, they're both stupid and time-wasting. (No offense)

Well, I'm going to stop writing now, my dad's making me help him wash our floor. Does he care I'm busy? Nope. So adiós.


6:30 P.M.

I was about to complain about how boring that was, but I have to eat dinner now, so yeah.


9:30 P.M.

Apparently my annoying, rich aunt and my bratty, midget cousin decided to show up at my door and have dinner with us. My aunt's name is Susan, and she's mom's sister. My cousin's name is Richard, but everyone calls him Richie, and he's 6.

I hate his guts. I know I shouldn't, I know he only wants attention, but that kid is a nightmare. I'll be sitting on my couch trying to read something and he'll run up to me, start punching my feet, then when I tell him to stop, he'll grab my hair and yank on it as hard as he can. I've threatened to step on him before, he's that short. My mom can't understand why I hate him, she thinks he's "the sweetest thing you'll ever see!".

But now, I swear to God, I'm ready to throw him off a cliff into a pit of lava.

Tonight, here's what happened. When my aunt was ready to leave, she couldn't find Richie anywhere. My older sister Kaitlin just sat there and pretended like she didn't know what was happening. I decided to look for him because I wanted him out of my house as soon as possible. So I decided to look upstairs. I looked in all the rooms, then got to mine. I open the door and there it is, standing on my bed, holding my phone that was now broken in half, and drawing all over my posters with a permanent marker. This is where it got ugly. I stood there at first, not moving. But then I exploded. I started screaming at him, and some swears "slipped" out. My parents and aunt ran into my room and tried to make me stop. Then they saw what Richie had done, and my aunt automatically grabbed his hand and ran out of the house. That left my parents to deal with me. After 5 more minutes, they finally got me to calm down. I told them what happened. They said they were sorry about what happened, but that I should be punished for my behavior. So now I'm grounded for 2 weeks.

The thing is, I wasn't necessarily mad at Richie, but more that my posters were now ruined. My signed Johnny Depp posters, covered with Sharpie scribbles.
And my phone was now broken in half. Turns out I don't really care my phone is ruined. I would say I didn't cry over the posters, but I did. They were actually the only thing I owned I really cared about, and now their ruined.

11:15 P.M.

My friend just called and had over 20 questions about our math homework. I told him that all the answers were either "13" or "Jack Sparrow", then told him I had to go. I'm just not in the mood to talk to anyone right now. Or do anything.

11:50 P.M

Big test tomorrow, have to study in the morning. 'Night!

~dani caimεn