love, lost and lust.

I never thought that the day would come when id write this down. i didnt think anything this bad could happen. it was like this was meant to be, like my life was meant to be this way, but only if i wanted it to.

my whole life in front of me and this is how i chose it, instead of living, i was stupid enough to chose to die. the love of my love, my family, my friends and my life all gone. everything i ever worked for, everything i every knew was all being replaced as i took my last breath, my life came to an end. as i lyed in my beloved arms, his tears i could still feel, everything started to become dark.

i opened my mouth to say that last thing anyone would hear from my chapped and broken lips, "Nick i will always...love..........u..................." and with that my eyes closed and my life was no more.

although i couldnt feel it, i knew that Nick would still be crying, my brothers voice in the back ground screaming my name, my mothers heart was breaking in two and my father, on my father, he would already be dead. no one every thought i would be the first to leave this family, not in a long time.

i should have lived my life, grown up with Nick, had kids grown old, sit on the porch with Nick with grey hair and watch our grandchildren run around having fun, all the things that should of happen couldnt, wouldnt, didnt happen. and as i write this i think to myself wat would of happen if i didnt chose the path. all those fun times i had and would of had. GONE!