Taking Control

1...2...3...4...1...2...3..4...
I have four pencils on my desk, two paperclips, three markers, and five pens. They are exactly two centimeters away from each other and six inches away from the end of the desk.
I sit at the edge of my bed, feet not touching the ground. Before I stand, I must make sure my school supplies are perfect. When I know they are, i stand at deep a heavy side. I shuffle to the bathroom and close the bathroom door. The bathroom is a pale yellow, one sink, one toliet and one shower are in the bathroom.
1,2,3,4,5,6,7
A tooth brush for each day of the week. I pull out the blue one, because it is Monday, and brush my teeth for exactly two minutes. I then change into a purple short-sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans. Brushing my deep brown wavy hair exactly fifty times is all how I get ready in the morning.
It might be different from other people, but this is my life, not yours.
"Janett, group is in five minutes!" Tori called from outside of the bathroom door.
My heart stopped.
She was in my room, which means the door was unlocked.
The door was unlocked.
I had to sit on the edge of the tub. If the door was unlocked, thats mean she could be messing up my room.
I ran to the door and whipped it open. Tori jumped and looked at me. I ran past her and to my desk.
Four pencils, two paperclips, three markers, and five pens.
4,2,3,5
Okay, they are all here.
"Janett," Tori said setting a hand on my shoulder.
Tori was a nurse that worked here at Sunset Mountain Residental Treatment Facility. She has been my nurse for over three years. I first came to SM thre years ago after my parents couldn't deal with my OCD with new twin babies in the house. She was the first face I saw here, and she has stuck ever since.
I entered the group room where other people like me were. Faith, and Monica have OCD but they need everything to be clean. They told me once, that they wash their hands up to fifty times a day. That's crazy.
Then theirs Harry who is depressed, he dosen't have OCD. I don't talk to him very much, I heard he cuts.
"Welcome Janett. Why don't you tell us about your morning?" Kim asked. KIm leads group. I have group every morning and then I have group after dinner. "Did you need to count at all?"
"Of course I did! My pencils were okay though," I said looking at my hands. I wasn't supposed to count anymore. It was supposed to help me. So far it only made me crazy.
It was Monica's turn after me. She said that she had to clean her sheets twice this morning becuase when she pulled them out of the dryer the first time, someone came in and started to fold them for her. She was very upset.
When everyone was done, we all stood up and went with our nurses for our independent lessons. I went with Tori to the lunch room to get some breakfast.
"So, Janett, your lesson today is going to be hard," Tori started to say.
"Why?" I asked throwing away my stuff into the trash, when I was done.
"You'll see."
We started to walk back to my room. What was going to happen? I was getting nerves as I started to enter my room.
That's when my day got worse.
Someone had been in my room. My pencils were all messed up. My pillows were not in the right order and all of my towels in my bathroom were on the floor.
How could they do this? My eyes started to water and I ran ro pick up my pencils. It took my an hour yesterday. I started to line them all back up again. I was shaking so hard. The pencils couldn't stay like this. I stopped, I couldn't breath. I fell to the ground.
Tori came over. "You need to keep them like this. This well help you."
"How is this supposed to help me! Why can't my room be normal!"
"Your room is normal! Just relax Janett."
I was leaning against my bed. I had stopped crying and was now counting the floor tiles.
22,23,24,25,26
This needed to change.