Pencil Sharpeners & Grape Flavoured Wine

This chapter is dedicated to me, for my love of pencil sharpeners.
Pencil sharpeners are sharp, so don't touch them. The plastic is the sharpest part and if you touch it then you die. It's dangerous. Just giving a warning in case anyone decides to sharpen a pencil. Get someone else to sharpen it for you, it's a lot safer. They are sacrificed instead of you, but it's not hard to find a person dumb enough to do it for you. There are a lot of people out there who enjoy murdering people for the sake of sharpening pencils.
Anyway, one day I was walking along the path when I spotted a lone sharpener sitting on the middle of the footpath. I felt sorry for it, then remembered my mother's warning:
"/Never touch a pencil sharpener.........../ (Voice drifts off into the distance......)"
I heeded her warning and didnt touch it. Anyway I gotta go to the toilet so wait up.
waits for a bit
Okay! I'm back, so continuing on, I didn't pick it up, I just walked straight past it. Although I didn't know it then, I had been afflicted with a curse. A horrible curse that can only be described as horrible. It was none other than the curse of the pencil sharpening machine. Few people had heard of this horrible, (lol) and dangerous happening. I sought out the help of the wise walrus who resided in a place called "The Snowy Place". The name of this habitat made me cringe in fear, even though it's a really lame name for a place. The walrus was named Walrus, (no surprise) and was quite large and ugly. His tusks protruded from his mouth like some form of strange and unnatural growth, which is what they actually are. When I walked into the cavern where he lived, I felt this strange sense of evil. This sense hung in the air for quite a while until I told it to go away. It went away because male senses need to respect females. (Not trying to sound like that. The strange, evil sense was a male.) Walrus was obviously waiting for me and IT greeted me on my arrival. I was stunned it could actually talk because usually animals do not talk. Just not a natural thing animals do, or in this case, THING. The walrus can only be described as a thingymajig.

Look out for the next chapter of Pencil Sharpeners & Grape Flavoured Wine, coming out soon! Join the fan club of my random stories to recieve updates and special letters. (Just joking, but I might actually create a fan club XD).
By the way, I actually did go to the toilet in that break :P
For now, later. Ash ;D