my poem
please comment and tell me what you think pleasseeeeeee thanks for reading
I shoot the gun I pulled the trigger that ended my life a whole lot quicker
My thought in my brain ran from life to my death a whole non caring world I just left the sound of the bullet pierced my brain as I fell to the ground in a tremendous pain I never knew it would end this way but it had to end sometime someway my life was just a big mistake My eyes bloodshot my hand grow cold as I take my last breath I nearly tried to hide the pain I felt inside for so long I grew insane. No one knew No one cared so I just fell to my feet Misery covered my eyes and darkness locked me inside thats how my life had ended now im dead and unforgivin.
My thought in my brain ran from life to my death a whole non caring world I just left the sound of the bullet pierced my brain as I fell to the ground in a tremendous pain I never knew it would end this way but it had to end sometime someway my life was just a big mistake My eyes bloodshot my hand grow cold as I take my last breath I nearly tried to hide the pain I felt inside for so long I grew insane. No one knew No one cared so I just fell to my feet Misery covered my eyes and darkness locked me inside thats how my life had ended now im dead and unforgivin.
37 Comments
Wow this is really powerful. Ur a great writer
its awesome great job ♪♫♪
amazinq
O_O
So your a ghost!?!?!?!
YAY GHOSTY! no for real that was sad
No im not a ghost .........OR AM I but thinks do u guys think I should make more
I like it! Eminem should use these lyrics, I can imagine him rapping it! :P yeah I say more!
Eminem uses more multis & wordplay & other things like that. the basic concept seems too emo to be Eminem. But he does sometimes write depressing raps and the flow of this poem is OK (not anywhere near eminem flow but OK) so i can sorta see how you think Eminem shud use these lyrics. Especially since his last 2 albums havnt seemd like him at all (to da point dat ive almost completely given up hope 4 another GOOD eminem song) but his flow remains the same so i still cant see him rapping this. If
he did... well the white teenage girls would dominate his fan population and fans of the old em would absolutely give up on him. cuz b4 eminem was dope but then in relapse, he just tried to be as vulgar as possible, then in recovery he went pop with song that feature rhianna and p!nk so hopefully in upcoming albums, he'll go back to old em. if not, we can expect to be hearin things similar to this poem goin mainstream and em's fanbase will be screwed.
WoW! that was amaizing
This was really good. Just a suggestion maybe make it in a different format. It would look more appealing to the eyes. But overall this was amazing.
tht waz good but sad