Breathe
Allie gets the "call" - no he was still alive, but to her it would have been easier if he was dead. He broke her heart. Bianca and Adam are to be married soon and need Allie to help pay with the rent and possibly plan the wedding. Bianca wants her best friend to be happy, but she couldn't seem to get her eyes to spark without Xavier around. Trying to help, she invites Xavier over for dinner one night after finding out he is home - for good. All hell is about to break loose.
I’m just not in love with you anymore.
Even in my dreams, I torment myself with his words. The last six months have been a huge rough patch for me with Xavier leaving, my mother passing away and my best friend getting married. Every once and awhile I needed time to reflect on my life.
I got up and walked towards the bathroom, flicked on the light and stared at my reflection. I didn’t look like the Allie I was when I came to Maryland. My hair had gotten blonder with the sun and weather, my eyes were a much deeper green than I remember and I myself just looked worn down. It was time that I did something that made me happy. I was going to be there for Bianca and her new husband, but I think it is time that I make it clear – I need to become myself.
*
“Mrs. Garner?” came a little voice from just below my knee. I looked down and saw a pair of curious, brown eyes looking up at me.
“Yes, David?” I asked as a small smile played across my lips. This was my dream job. I loved children with all my heart. They made me happy and feel an unconditional love every morning that I came into work. The best part was that these children could care less of my past and where I’ve been too. They respect me as there teacher and look up to me with all kinds of advice.
“I don’t know what this word is.” He looked almost ashamed at his honestly about the worksheet in his small hands.
“Well, do you think that you can sound it out?” I bent down so I was eye level with him. Once again, he looked at me, his eyes huge with me being so close. I could see myself in his eyes and I could see a small part of him. I could see him going home and excitedly helping his mother with dinner and then rushing to the door when Papa gets home to tell him all about the A on his math test.
“Uhm, I think I could.” I brought my hand up and placed it above the first part of the word.
“Per,” He said, then as I moved my hand to the second half of the word, “– fume.”
“Now put in together and you will get...” I paused waiting for the light to click in his brilliant little brain of his.
“Perfume,” He exclaimed proudly before smiling at me and prancing back over to his desk.
I smiled to myself; sometimes these children really did know how to brighten my day. I stood back up and looked the rest of my students. “Class, school is almost over. So can you please, quietly, pick up the rest of your books and line up at the door for homeroom.”
For once the room was quiet as the children gathered there belongings and lined up at the door. Everyone expect for Michelle. She was a troublemaker, but a quiet one at that. She would be the child who would push her way to the front, but never explain why she did it or put chewing gum in another girl’s hair because she was “bored.” I knew these kinds of children – all they seek is attention. “Michelle, how has your day been?”
She shrugged and grabbed a strand of hair from face and pushed it back behind her ear. “It was okay.”
“That sounds better than nothing, right?” I smiled at her, hoping that someday soon she would open up to me. She just nodded her head and went back to staring at her blank desk.
“Okay, well I hope everyone has a great weekend!”
The hallway was an echo of goodbyes as the teachers, parents and students all made their way out the front door. I looked at the stack of accumulating papers on my desk and took a seat. I knew that if I didn’t get started now, it would never be done. Before I even was able to make the first red mark on a spelling test, my phone went crazy in my pocket.
After frantically getting the device into my hand and flipped open, I saw that it was Bianca. “Hey B, what’s up?”
“Allie, where are you?” She asked quickly.
“I’m still at work getting ready to grade papers.” I stated slowly, confusion in my voice, “Why?”
“You are never going to believe who just moved back into town!” I couldn’t tell from her tone whether this was going to good or bad news for me.
“Who?” My heart beat was racing with the seconds.
“Xavier.” My breath caught in my throat and I had to physically remind myself that I needed to breathe.
“What..?” I was stunned. “I thought he was to be shipped off to Iraq and not returning until sometime next year.”
“Apparently he was injured pretty bad during a raid and had to be discharged.” She was being really calm about this whole situation. “I was thinking about inviting him over to dinner sometime this week; if you’re okay with that?”
“Sure.” There was no use in arguing with Bianca when she had made up her decision about anything. She would easily freak out if she couldn’t find her car keys, but think it’s acceptable to invite the man that broke my heart over from dinner.
“Awesome!” She was too cheery; I think I am going to be sick. “I’ll tell Adam and we can make plans. What time will you be home tonight?”
“Uhm, sometime after 8; don’t worry I’ll feed myself.”
“OK, see you later.” With that there was a click. I sat there holding the phone in my hand listening to my breathing.
Oh my god.
Even in my dreams, I torment myself with his words. The last six months have been a huge rough patch for me with Xavier leaving, my mother passing away and my best friend getting married. Every once and awhile I needed time to reflect on my life.
I got up and walked towards the bathroom, flicked on the light and stared at my reflection. I didn’t look like the Allie I was when I came to Maryland. My hair had gotten blonder with the sun and weather, my eyes were a much deeper green than I remember and I myself just looked worn down. It was time that I did something that made me happy. I was going to be there for Bianca and her new husband, but I think it is time that I make it clear – I need to become myself.
*
“Mrs. Garner?” came a little voice from just below my knee. I looked down and saw a pair of curious, brown eyes looking up at me.
“Yes, David?” I asked as a small smile played across my lips. This was my dream job. I loved children with all my heart. They made me happy and feel an unconditional love every morning that I came into work. The best part was that these children could care less of my past and where I’ve been too. They respect me as there teacher and look up to me with all kinds of advice.
“I don’t know what this word is.” He looked almost ashamed at his honestly about the worksheet in his small hands.
“Well, do you think that you can sound it out?” I bent down so I was eye level with him. Once again, he looked at me, his eyes huge with me being so close. I could see myself in his eyes and I could see a small part of him. I could see him going home and excitedly helping his mother with dinner and then rushing to the door when Papa gets home to tell him all about the A on his math test.
“Uhm, I think I could.” I brought my hand up and placed it above the first part of the word.
“Per,” He said, then as I moved my hand to the second half of the word, “– fume.”
“Now put in together and you will get...” I paused waiting for the light to click in his brilliant little brain of his.
“Perfume,” He exclaimed proudly before smiling at me and prancing back over to his desk.
I smiled to myself; sometimes these children really did know how to brighten my day. I stood back up and looked the rest of my students. “Class, school is almost over. So can you please, quietly, pick up the rest of your books and line up at the door for homeroom.”
For once the room was quiet as the children gathered there belongings and lined up at the door. Everyone expect for Michelle. She was a troublemaker, but a quiet one at that. She would be the child who would push her way to the front, but never explain why she did it or put chewing gum in another girl’s hair because she was “bored.” I knew these kinds of children – all they seek is attention. “Michelle, how has your day been?”
She shrugged and grabbed a strand of hair from face and pushed it back behind her ear. “It was okay.”
“That sounds better than nothing, right?” I smiled at her, hoping that someday soon she would open up to me. She just nodded her head and went back to staring at her blank desk.
“Okay, well I hope everyone has a great weekend!”
The hallway was an echo of goodbyes as the teachers, parents and students all made their way out the front door. I looked at the stack of accumulating papers on my desk and took a seat. I knew that if I didn’t get started now, it would never be done. Before I even was able to make the first red mark on a spelling test, my phone went crazy in my pocket.
After frantically getting the device into my hand and flipped open, I saw that it was Bianca. “Hey B, what’s up?”
“Allie, where are you?” She asked quickly.
“I’m still at work getting ready to grade papers.” I stated slowly, confusion in my voice, “Why?”
“You are never going to believe who just moved back into town!” I couldn’t tell from her tone whether this was going to good or bad news for me.
“Who?” My heart beat was racing with the seconds.
“Xavier.” My breath caught in my throat and I had to physically remind myself that I needed to breathe.
“What..?” I was stunned. “I thought he was to be shipped off to Iraq and not returning until sometime next year.”
“Apparently he was injured pretty bad during a raid and had to be discharged.” She was being really calm about this whole situation. “I was thinking about inviting him over to dinner sometime this week; if you’re okay with that?”
“Sure.” There was no use in arguing with Bianca when she had made up her decision about anything. She would easily freak out if she couldn’t find her car keys, but think it’s acceptable to invite the man that broke my heart over from dinner.
“Awesome!” She was too cheery; I think I am going to be sick. “I’ll tell Adam and we can make plans. What time will you be home tonight?”
“Uhm, sometime after 8; don’t worry I’ll feed myself.”
“OK, see you later.” With that there was a click. I sat there holding the phone in my hand listening to my breathing.
Oh my god.
0 Comments
No comments yet!