Written In Ink

Friday, January 11th. 11:48 p.m.
Marley Jones is a skank. She walks around this campus with her Prada hand bags and designer shoes thinking everyone will bow down to her at her will. But honestly? Her 'followers' are more likely to trip her while she's walking out to her Ferrari. Of course, if any one were to attempt this, her bodyguards, who get paid more money an hour than I will ever attain in my lifetime, would have them incarcerated before Marley can snap her fingers. We can't all be Marley Jones. And lets pray that we never will be.

Just before I hit enter, Jane said, unsure, "You sure you want to do this? She'll have you killed." I examined my to-be blog post more closely, then said. "You're right. I can't post this." Jane took a breath of relief and started to say, "Good, now let's go st-" "I didn't call her nearly enough adjectives to describe her." "Katie..." Jane warned. "Hmm... okay lets try this again. 'Marley Jones is a loathsome, conniving, unloved skank.' There much better. Aaanndd... Enter!" I exclaimed as I posted the blog post. Jane sighed and said, "You're not helping our reputation at all." as she stalked out of the room. I followed.

Two years ago, my senior year at Walden High School, I started this blog to protest our Senior All Night Party's cancellation. The response was insurmountable. So, I started talking about more debatable things. My most popular post was 'Cafeteria Food; Nutritious or Hazardous?'. Of course, the faculty didn't appreciate it. So I was suspended from posting any more blogs for the remainder of the year. After the final bell, though, I had already typed out my next post 'School in Southern Michigan Doesn't Allow Free Speech?'. After that, I've been writing about a plethora of debates and topics, but my most favored thing to talk about it people. My first post this year about Shawna Danes, who accused me of cheating on the Final Exam freshman year of college, had over 1,000 readers; my highest yet. Of course, no one even liked Shawna, so when I started writing about the Higher Up In The Food Chain, my feedback wasn't as favorable. Of course, my Lower Down In The Food Chain peers applauded me for my 'audacious attempts to level the playing field among University of Michigan students.'

"Jane!! Don't you see how amazing this is?! Everything I posted is true! No one likes Marley. Everyone loves my blog posts!" "Not everyone. Katie, in a year you've managed to insult every popular person at our school." Jane walked to the fridge and grabbed a Gatorade, throwing me one. "I haven't insulted everyone..." "I didn't say everyone. I said every popular person. Well, if you exclude Tanner." "Do NOT bring Tanner into this! He has nothing to do with anything."

Tanner Ash; ex-boyfriend, popular on campus, big bucks, big ego, HUGE manwhore. He ditched me for (who else?) Marley Jones a month ago. Well, that's what he's telling everyone. The real story is that he had been 'with' her - and Marsha Lewis, and Anne Daniels, and Jessica Crawford - for four of the 8 months we were dating. Ever since the split, I've been trying to gain enough courage - or whatever you would call it in this situation - to write a post about him. The problem; I still love him. I can't get enough strength to write anything horrible about him, in high hopes that he'll realize I was indeed The One and come back to me. The likelyhood of his epiphany would decrease if I wrote a book about his manwhore-ness.

Jane shrugged and said, "I'm just saying. What do you think will get you more attention - or whatever it is you're trying to gain from all of this; writing about people who have done absolutely nothing to you..." "That is NOT true! Marley stole Tanner from me and Shawna accu-" "OR writing about the guy who ripped your heart out, cut it up into minuscule chunks, and gave it back to you with a 'Get Well Soon' card? I think the latter. Oh! Speaking of ladder, Cam is coming over in... now!" She yelled as she ran to the window of your second-floor all-girls dorm. "What does that have to do with... Oh hey Carl."

Cameron Smith is Jane's boyfriend. He sneaks in every once in a while to see her, because they never get time during the day to see each other. Also, boys are banned from our dorm during the night. So Jane hid a retractable ladder under the bushes by our dorm so he can come whenever.

"Hey babe." She said, helping him in and giving him a peck on the cheek. "Hey Jane. Hey Katie." I nodded at him, taking a sip of my Gatorade. Cam pushed the ladder away from the window, and we all heard it land on the ground with a loud clatter. Jane sighed and said, "Cline definitely heard that one." There was a loud banging on our door. I ran over and looked out to see a heavy-set woman looking around. "Speak of the Devil." I muttered as I opened the door. "Ms. Cline! Please, come in."

Carlita Cline is our Dorm Advisor. Whenever Cam comes over, he forgets that Cline has the ears of a hawk and a short temper. So, he lets the ladder fall to the ground under our window, and Cline rushes up to our room. Why does she always assume its our room? She hates us, that's why. No reason. She just does. So she rushes up, Cam hides in the small space between the wall and our fridge, and no one is the wiser.

Today was no different. Jane smiled and said, "Ms. Cline! How can we help you?" She sniffed the air and said, "There's Boy in here." Jane lightly scoffed and said, "Ms. Cline, you know the rules! No boys after dark! Why would we have a boy in here when it is obviously after dark?" She sniffed the air again. "What was that noise?" "What noise?" "The clatter." "Clatter? What clatter?" The clatter! Outside!" "If the noise was from outside, why are you in here interrogating us and keeping us from our studies?" I countered. She looked confused. I loved confusing Cline. Luckily, she's still living in the '40s and doesn't know what the Internet is. I've written many a blog posts about her. She sighed and said, "Fine. But I'll catch you girls and the boy next time. Get back to your studies." She mumbled something else, glancing at the fridge, before shuffling out.

Carl came out and Jane said, "You have to be more careful! That was a close one!" "Yea, usually we hear her running up the stairs so we have time to hide you. She must have been on the floor already when he dropped the ladder." "Well how am I supposed to know when she's walking by?!" Cam exclaimed. "Whatever. Point is you didn't get caught. Let's go." Jane said, dragging him to her room, and slamming the door behind her. Headphone time. I sat on the couch, put my headphones in, turned up my music to 100 and prepared to post my latest addition to the Crazy Cline Chronicles.