Life can be Heaven in your dreams
God, why did my life have to turn out this way? Why can't I just be a normal human teenager who goes to school and grow up to become something big? What did I do wrong to deserve this? " Please, somebody help me! " I cried out in the dark, tears streaming down my face.
It was jet black and cold where I was. I heard my echos as I whimpered, something I hadn't noticed before. I must be in a basement or cellar of some sort. There were objects in the room around me.
Standing in my room beside my bed, I looked down at the outfit I had chosen for the day. It was something I didn't get to wear much, Considering where I lived before I came to Pike Ville, Kentucky. Light clothes because it's ten times warmer here than it is in Alaska. My family of two weeks moved down here to get away from cold weather. I didn't object when they told me and my little sister Susie that we were permanetly moving away. I needed to get away from familiar areas.
The more familiar things get, the more dangerous living in that arae becomes. I slipped out of my pajamas and put on the clothes. I walked over to the mirror to look over the girl standing there. Light blonde hair, blue eyes, full lips, and a very eager expression. She picked up a brush and combed through her waist long hair.
Who would have thought that this girl was anything but ordinary? She barely knew what was coming for her, but at least she knew some of her ethnic background. That would help her later in times of distress. She had seven years of knowlegde that would be catastrophic if she didn't have it. Later she would appreciate it rather than want to die when the horrid memories started to show themselves in her dreams.
I walked over to my bed and picked up my bookbag off the untidy covers. At least the rest of my room was spotless. Kahlisha would have a fit if she saw it a mess. My new mother wasthe total opposite of me. She had night black hair and dark brown eyes.
She scares me a bit with her dark looks. But she understands me and we're almost like sisters. When her and my father found me in my foster home, she instantly took my hand and hugged me. In my foster home I wa youngest, so I watched the twelve little ones. I had lived there for about six months when Kahlisha and Micheal showed up.
My foster mom had to work until eleven that night and dad was usually never home. He worked in a big office and made lots of money. So I was in charge once again. By time bed time rolled around about eight o'clock, I was ready to pull my hair out. I had finally gotten everyone in bed when my caretaker walked in with a couple holding hands.
She brought them in and sat them on the couch opposite of me. She introduced us and I slumped down on the couch exausted, not really caring what they thought of me at the moment. I wa startled to see Kahlisha walking over to sit by me. She took my hand in hers and hugged me. Then I realized what I looked like to them.
A 15 year old, 5 foot 4 tall, 113.4 pound, long blonde knotted hair girl with food covered clothes, dirt smuges on her face from playing with her foster brothers and sisters, with blue exausted but surprised eyes looking up at them. I hugged her back and when she pulled away I asked them to excuse me. I ran to my bedroom when I was out of eye sight. I quickly undressed and slipped on a pair of clean clothes. Skipping back down the steps I brushed through my hair and walked back into the family room.
I sat down on the couch again. When I looked up, all three of them were looking at me. I smiled and apologized for the way I looked earlier. The conversation was started off with simple questions about where I lived before I came here, how well I got along with the kids around me, was my foster mom a good parent to everyone? I answered them all positivly and nooded or shook my head when asked a yes or no question.
Then they asked me about my interests and other questions to go along with " what did I want to be when I got older ". Kahlisha wrote down some of the things I said, which I would find out later they had a daughter who was curious about the girl her parents were thinking about adopting. Some of the questions my caretaker answered, knowing that if I answered them myself I would most likely go back and relive most of my past right in front of them. Micheal was more curious about my background, asking questions about my other foster families and my real mom and dad. When he asked me about how my dad treated my mom I couldn't stop the flashbacks from coming to me.
I was four years old sitting in the living room of my parents house watching cat-dog on the tv. I heard mommy run down the steps and turned to see her running in the room. Tears and makeup running down her cheeks. There was a horrified expression on her pretty face. She picked me up and ran ito the kitchen putting me behing her and beside the refrigerator away from a man walking into the room. I looked up into the face of a dark red haired man with glowing amber eyes that were fierce with rage. I was scared to see my daddy look like that. I'd never seen him so mad before. Mommy pushed me farther away from him, shielding me from his anger. I woundered what was wrong.
I saw daddys feet move fast and then mommy screamed, her hands flying up to protect herself. Daddy grabbed her by the arm and swung her around and pushed her into the living room. I heard mommy screaming. I covered my eyes and started crying. The screams were cut short and it was quiet.
I heard footsteps across the floor and I was picked up by cold, strong arms. I looked around and daddy cradled my head, turning me away from the room, but I had alreay seen. Mommy was laying on the floor, her neck twisted impossibly to the side. She was pale and looked like wax. There was blood all over her.
We were outside and walking toward the car. Daddy put me in the back seat and buckled me in, not looking into my eyes. He closed the door and walked back to the house. I sat there, tears clouding my vision. Daddy didn't do that, he didn't hurt mommy. But I knew from the way he carried duffle bags out of the house full of our stuff that he had, and I couldn't change it.
He put the bags in the car and went back into the house. My head started to spin. Nothing seemed real anymore, everything had turned into a nightmare. I looked at the house to see daddy carrying a blood stained sheet with lifeless arms hanging out of it. He layed the sheet on a pile of wood and poured liquid all over it.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. I would never forget the look in his eyes as he lit the sheets. A blank, careless stare. He stepped away from the fire and walked to the car. I started to shake as I watched him come toward me.
Before he reached the car I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door. I ran, blinded by my tears toward the fire. I could hear him running after me. I tried to run faster but I couldn't. Strong arms grabbed me and pulled me away.
" Mommy! " I heard myself cry.
The tears finaly came out in a rush. I kept calling her, trying to push him away. I wanted her to walk out of the flames and take me in her arms, telling me that it was ok, that she was ok.
I slowly came back to myself, remembering where I was and assesing the tears and my sobs for a minute. Micheal was holding me and telling Kahlisha to get a wet wash wrag. She came back into the room and dabbed at my face. She looked worried and sad.
" I'm so sorry, I didn't mean... " Micheal was apologizing.
I was laying on the couch covered with a light blanket. I sat up and leaned against him.
" Why are you saying sorry? " I asked him.
" I didn't mean to upset you. " He said, near tears.
" You didn't do anything wrong. You're fine. " I told him, taking his hand in mine.
After that we all talked about different things besides moms and dads. Micheal and Kahlisha told me about Susie, their daughter and how she wanted to come and meet me tonight, but she had to go to her grandmother's. We talked until my foster mom got home, then they had to leave.
" I'm looking forward to talking to you again Rose. " Kahlisha said as she walked out the door.
I waved to them through the window, hoping I would see them again. Three days went by and I hadn't heard anything. I was afraid my " illness " had scared them. When my foster mom got home that night she looked like she was about to cry.
" What's wrong? " I ran to her, scared of what she might say.
" They are coming to get you. Go pack your things. " She smiled at me with sad eyes.
" Who's coming? " I asked, scared to death.
" Your caretaker, the man and the woman that were here a few days ago are adopting you. " She smiled at me again and left the room.
I ran to my room joyous and sad all at the same time. I was happy that Kahlisha and Micheal hadn't been scared away by my spell, and that they liked me enough to adopt me. My sadness came from me having to leave my little family behind, but I knew that I would be happier and they would be alright. When my caretaker came, we put all my stuff in the car. I hugged everyone including my foster dad who came to see me off, and waved goodbye as we pulled away.
We drove quietly for about six hours. Occasionally I would be asked questions and I would answer them willingly. We pulled up to a medium sized housein Ancorage, Alaska. About 360 miles from my foster family. Kahlisha and Micheal were standing on the front pourch, and bt their side was a girl who looked a few years younger than me.
After about a week, me and Susie were close. Kahlisha and I had formed a bond stronger than any. Micheal treats me like an angel although I know I'm not. He treats me and Susie with the same fatherly love. We are one big loving family.
Before I came to live with them, Susie was 11 years old and in the sixth grade. When I came to live with them she had been skipped to the eight grade. I was told in a week, I was going to high school to take a knowlegde test. I studied every night, ready for anything.
And now here I am. Standing here remembering when I should be going to school. I slipped my bookbag on my back and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me. I turned the corner and walked into a light purple room with a pink scenery. I stopped and tapped on a brown short haired girl with light green eyes and an excited expression on her face.
The more familiar things get, the more dangerous living in that arae becomes. I slipped out of my pajamas and put on the clothes. I walked over to the mirror to look over the girl standing there. Light blonde hair, blue eyes, full lips, and a very eager expression. She picked up a brush and combed through her waist long hair.
Who would have thought that this girl was anything but ordinary? She barely knew what was coming for her, but at least she knew some of her ethnic background. That would help her later in times of distress. She had seven years of knowlegde that would be catastrophic if she didn't have it. Later she would appreciate it rather than want to die when the horrid memories started to show themselves in her dreams.
I walked over to my bed and picked up my bookbag off the untidy covers. At least the rest of my room was spotless. Kahlisha would have a fit if she saw it a mess. My new mother wasthe total opposite of me. She had night black hair and dark brown eyes.
She scares me a bit with her dark looks. But she understands me and we're almost like sisters. When her and my father found me in my foster home, she instantly took my hand and hugged me. In my foster home I wa youngest, so I watched the twelve little ones. I had lived there for about six months when Kahlisha and Micheal showed up.
My foster mom had to work until eleven that night and dad was usually never home. He worked in a big office and made lots of money. So I was in charge once again. By time bed time rolled around about eight o'clock, I was ready to pull my hair out. I had finally gotten everyone in bed when my caretaker walked in with a couple holding hands.
She brought them in and sat them on the couch opposite of me. She introduced us and I slumped down on the couch exausted, not really caring what they thought of me at the moment. I wa startled to see Kahlisha walking over to sit by me. She took my hand in hers and hugged me. Then I realized what I looked like to them.
A 15 year old, 5 foot 4 tall, 113.4 pound, long blonde knotted hair girl with food covered clothes, dirt smuges on her face from playing with her foster brothers and sisters, with blue exausted but surprised eyes looking up at them. I hugged her back and when she pulled away I asked them to excuse me. I ran to my bedroom when I was out of eye sight. I quickly undressed and slipped on a pair of clean clothes. Skipping back down the steps I brushed through my hair and walked back into the family room.
I sat down on the couch again. When I looked up, all three of them were looking at me. I smiled and apologized for the way I looked earlier. The conversation was started off with simple questions about where I lived before I came here, how well I got along with the kids around me, was my foster mom a good parent to everyone? I answered them all positivly and nooded or shook my head when asked a yes or no question.
Then they asked me about my interests and other questions to go along with " what did I want to be when I got older ". Kahlisha wrote down some of the things I said, which I would find out later they had a daughter who was curious about the girl her parents were thinking about adopting. Some of the questions my caretaker answered, knowing that if I answered them myself I would most likely go back and relive most of my past right in front of them. Micheal was more curious about my background, asking questions about my other foster families and my real mom and dad. When he asked me about how my dad treated my mom I couldn't stop the flashbacks from coming to me.
I was four years old sitting in the living room of my parents house watching cat-dog on the tv. I heard mommy run down the steps and turned to see her running in the room. Tears and makeup running down her cheeks. There was a horrified expression on her pretty face. She picked me up and ran ito the kitchen putting me behing her and beside the refrigerator away from a man walking into the room. I looked up into the face of a dark red haired man with glowing amber eyes that were fierce with rage. I was scared to see my daddy look like that. I'd never seen him so mad before. Mommy pushed me farther away from him, shielding me from his anger. I woundered what was wrong.
I saw daddys feet move fast and then mommy screamed, her hands flying up to protect herself. Daddy grabbed her by the arm and swung her around and pushed her into the living room. I heard mommy screaming. I covered my eyes and started crying. The screams were cut short and it was quiet.
I heard footsteps across the floor and I was picked up by cold, strong arms. I looked around and daddy cradled my head, turning me away from the room, but I had alreay seen. Mommy was laying on the floor, her neck twisted impossibly to the side. She was pale and looked like wax. There was blood all over her.
We were outside and walking toward the car. Daddy put me in the back seat and buckled me in, not looking into my eyes. He closed the door and walked back to the house. I sat there, tears clouding my vision. Daddy didn't do that, he didn't hurt mommy. But I knew from the way he carried duffle bags out of the house full of our stuff that he had, and I couldn't change it.
He put the bags in the car and went back into the house. My head started to spin. Nothing seemed real anymore, everything had turned into a nightmare. I looked at the house to see daddy carrying a blood stained sheet with lifeless arms hanging out of it. He layed the sheet on a pile of wood and poured liquid all over it.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a lighter. I would never forget the look in his eyes as he lit the sheets. A blank, careless stare. He stepped away from the fire and walked to the car. I started to shake as I watched him come toward me.
Before he reached the car I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door. I ran, blinded by my tears toward the fire. I could hear him running after me. I tried to run faster but I couldn't. Strong arms grabbed me and pulled me away.
" Mommy! " I heard myself cry.
The tears finaly came out in a rush. I kept calling her, trying to push him away. I wanted her to walk out of the flames and take me in her arms, telling me that it was ok, that she was ok.
I slowly came back to myself, remembering where I was and assesing the tears and my sobs for a minute. Micheal was holding me and telling Kahlisha to get a wet wash wrag. She came back into the room and dabbed at my face. She looked worried and sad.
" I'm so sorry, I didn't mean... " Micheal was apologizing.
I was laying on the couch covered with a light blanket. I sat up and leaned against him.
" Why are you saying sorry? " I asked him.
" I didn't mean to upset you. " He said, near tears.
" You didn't do anything wrong. You're fine. " I told him, taking his hand in mine.
After that we all talked about different things besides moms and dads. Micheal and Kahlisha told me about Susie, their daughter and how she wanted to come and meet me tonight, but she had to go to her grandmother's. We talked until my foster mom got home, then they had to leave.
" I'm looking forward to talking to you again Rose. " Kahlisha said as she walked out the door.
I waved to them through the window, hoping I would see them again. Three days went by and I hadn't heard anything. I was afraid my " illness " had scared them. When my foster mom got home that night she looked like she was about to cry.
" What's wrong? " I ran to her, scared of what she might say.
" They are coming to get you. Go pack your things. " She smiled at me with sad eyes.
" Who's coming? " I asked, scared to death.
" Your caretaker, the man and the woman that were here a few days ago are adopting you. " She smiled at me again and left the room.
I ran to my room joyous and sad all at the same time. I was happy that Kahlisha and Micheal hadn't been scared away by my spell, and that they liked me enough to adopt me. My sadness came from me having to leave my little family behind, but I knew that I would be happier and they would be alright. When my caretaker came, we put all my stuff in the car. I hugged everyone including my foster dad who came to see me off, and waved goodbye as we pulled away.
We drove quietly for about six hours. Occasionally I would be asked questions and I would answer them willingly. We pulled up to a medium sized housein Ancorage, Alaska. About 360 miles from my foster family. Kahlisha and Micheal were standing on the front pourch, and bt their side was a girl who looked a few years younger than me.
After about a week, me and Susie were close. Kahlisha and I had formed a bond stronger than any. Micheal treats me like an angel although I know I'm not. He treats me and Susie with the same fatherly love. We are one big loving family.
Before I came to live with them, Susie was 11 years old and in the sixth grade. When I came to live with them she had been skipped to the eight grade. I was told in a week, I was going to high school to take a knowlegde test. I studied every night, ready for anything.
And now here I am. Standing here remembering when I should be going to school. I slipped my bookbag on my back and walked out of the room, closing the door behind me. I turned the corner and walked into a light purple room with a pink scenery. I stopped and tapped on a brown short haired girl with light green eyes and an excited expression on her face.
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