The Stalker:The Wrong Sister
I've been working on this story for awhile now so i thought i'd put it up on quibblo, pls let me know what u think :)
well because it was a bit confusing at first, so i fixed it up, i hope its better know
It was a dark, silent night as Maggie was sleeping in her bed with her boyfriend Tony. All of sudden they jumped out of the as they heard a loud thunderous noise outside and rushed to Mia's room. They sat there in silence waiting for more sudden noises; They soon all fell asleep in Mia's room.
The Next Day
They awoke and had a look outside to see if there was any evidence of the night before and saw that their recycling bin has been turned lid up against the gate door. They sat it up properly and slowly made their way back to the kitchen and made breakfast for the whole family. Everyone sat and wondered what and who was that the night before.
MEANWHILE
The stalker was with his "family" if you would like to call it that.
"Toby... Toby....!? What are you doing out here, i've been looking for you for ages babe!" exclaimed May. Sue was sitting inside playing on the computer talking with her friends. Rose was sitting looking after her baby brother Jon. But lets go back where it all started, 22 years ago...
Maggie was walking down the street with her family, but was straggling and dawdling away from them and ugly, young brut of a creep but kept walking.
It was dark and cold as was sitting on her couch in her surburban area of Palm Beach. She was with her sons Bryan, Gordan and Leslieas her partner was out and the front door was bolted lock so noone can get in or out. As maggie fell asleep in her bed, as she was getting deeper into her slumber, it was suddenly interrupted as she had a wierd sense of feeling that someone was watching her and leaning over her limp body. It was Paul Dion, trying to sell her raffle tickets.
"What!? How did you get in here? Exclaimed May.
"The front door was unlocked" answered Paul, with so much casuality.
"NO! That is never unlocked, Shane always locks it!" yelled May im frustration. But what she didnt know was that Paul snaked his way through a hole in the roof of the house.
It was a dark, silent night as Maggie was sleeping in her bed with her boyfriend Tony. All of sudden they jumped out of the as they heard a loud thunderous noise outside and rushed to Mia's room. They sat there in silence waiting for more sudden noises; They soon all fell asleep in Mia's room.
The Next Day
They awoke and had a look outside to see if there was any evidence of the night before and saw that their recycling bin has been turned lid up against the gate door. They sat it up properly and slowly made their way back to the kitchen and made breakfast for the whole family. Everyone sat and wondered what and who was that the night before.
MEANWHILE
The stalker was with his "family" if you would like to call it that.
"Toby... Toby....!? What are you doing out here, i've been looking for you for ages babe!" exclaimed May. Sue was sitting inside playing on the computer talking with her friends. Rose was sitting looking after her baby brother Jon. But lets go back where it all started, 22 years ago...
Maggie was walking down the street with her family, but was straggling and dawdling away from them and ugly, young brut of a creep but kept walking.
It was dark and cold as was sitting on her couch in her surburban area of Palm Beach. She was with her sons Bryan, Gordan and Leslieas her partner was out and the front door was bolted lock so noone can get in or out. As maggie fell asleep in her bed, as she was getting deeper into her slumber, it was suddenly interrupted as she had a wierd sense of feeling that someone was watching her and leaning over her limp body. It was Paul Dion, trying to sell her raffle tickets.
"What!? How did you get in here? Exclaimed May.
"The front door was unlocked" answered Paul, with so much casuality.
"NO! That is never unlocked, Shane always locks it!" yelled May im frustration. But what she didnt know was that Paul snaked his way through a hole in the roof of the house.
6 Comments
I don't get it.... sorry, but hey, i'll get it sometime in the year :)
its kind of confusing but i like it
Sorry bout that, see my computers down and m trying to do this from memory- cause im on my phone so yah
a lot less confusing and i still like it :)
Confusing, and I think you could add more to make it a better story. Some grammatical mistakes, also.
omg XD