not just another day
after finishing her last chore, Amanda decided to go for a walk. It was a nice day and the birds were signing, and the neighbor's dogs were barking. As Amanda walked, she saw something move from behind a tree.
"Who's there!" called Amanda. But, no one answered. "It must of been my imagination" she said to herself.
So she walked on until she got to the end of the road. She herd the crunch of leaves, like someone was sneaking up on her. then she got the sensation that someone was watching her. when she turned around, whoever or whatever was watching he had disappeared.
> >
On Saturday, Amanda got up, got dressed, and went down stairs. Her mom and dad were all ready up. Amanda told her mo that she was going to the forest to think about something. Her mom said it was OK, so she got on her bike and left for the forest.
She got to the forest and went to the spot that she all ways sat at to think. Then the feeling she was being watched, slowly crept up her backbone like a spider crawling up her back. She slowly turned around. It felt like she was glued to the spot and couldn't move. But, when Amanda turned around all she saw was a rabbit. As soon as she saw it, it had disappeared in to the bushes. Then there was a bright light coming from the bush where the rabbit had disappeared.
Amanda was curious about why the light was coming from under an ordinary bush. She got up from the rock and walked slowly, and carefully toward the bush. She crawled under it and then she felt herself falling. Amanda fell down, down, down until she hit the ground below. When Amanda opened her eyes, she saw the rabbit looking at her. Then it spoke to her.
"I hoped you would follow me," said the rabbit. "Please do not be afraid. My name is Blaze and you are Amanda."
"But, how do you know that?" asked Amanda in astonishment. She was still shocked. She had so many questions that she wanted to ask Blaze.
It was almost as if he had read he mind.
"There is no time for questions now. We must get to the palace. Come."
So they left the meado and Amanda folowed Blaze untill they got to a grand buliding. They went inside. There was an emptie throne. Then Blaze rang a gong and out came the king.
(To be coutiuned................)
"Who's there!" called Amanda. But, no one answered. "It must of been my imagination" she said to herself.
So she walked on until she got to the end of the road. She herd the crunch of leaves, like someone was sneaking up on her. then she got the sensation that someone was watching her. when she turned around, whoever or whatever was watching he had disappeared.
> >
On Saturday, Amanda got up, got dressed, and went down stairs. Her mom and dad were all ready up. Amanda told her mo that she was going to the forest to think about something. Her mom said it was OK, so she got on her bike and left for the forest.
She got to the forest and went to the spot that she all ways sat at to think. Then the feeling she was being watched, slowly crept up her backbone like a spider crawling up her back. She slowly turned around. It felt like she was glued to the spot and couldn't move. But, when Amanda turned around all she saw was a rabbit. As soon as she saw it, it had disappeared in to the bushes. Then there was a bright light coming from the bush where the rabbit had disappeared.
Amanda was curious about why the light was coming from under an ordinary bush. She got up from the rock and walked slowly, and carefully toward the bush. She crawled under it and then she felt herself falling. Amanda fell down, down, down until she hit the ground below. When Amanda opened her eyes, she saw the rabbit looking at her. Then it spoke to her.
"I hoped you would follow me," said the rabbit. "Please do not be afraid. My name is Blaze and you are Amanda."
"But, how do you know that?" asked Amanda in astonishment. She was still shocked. She had so many questions that she wanted to ask Blaze.
It was almost as if he had read he mind.
"There is no time for questions now. We must get to the palace. Come."
So they left the meado and Amanda folowed Blaze untill they got to a grand buliding. They went inside. There was an emptie throne. Then Blaze rang a gong and out came the king.
(To be coutiuned................)
2 Comments
Wow! That's cool! 0.0 XD. I love the part just before Amanda sees the rabbit, how she felt the fear like a spider on her back. But can I make a suggestion? (Personally I think it's easier to do it in 1st person) You should add more detail. You could start out, "It all started out as an ordinary day when I decided to go on a walk. The air was sweet, dogs were barking, and birds were singing a lovely tune." Now I don't want to sound like I'M rewriting the story, so I'll stop there! |-D
But you could describe the neighborhood. How, compaired to the rest of town, the houses seemed like mansions. And how Ms. Nitely would always greet you as you walk by. (You always took care of her cats and plants while she was away) As you wake up from bed, you can say that you looked out your window and felt rain comming. Or you could describe feelings. Same with when you go downstairs and you see your parents. Describe what they are doing, how they look, etc. And the tall, eerie trees... Cool?