Fell
okay, so, i really like one of my poems and it has gotten squat for feedback, so i am putting it on this thinking that maybe no had read it because rs&sg is getting really long. so please read.... and comment and/or rate. that would be much appreciated. oh, and the same poem from a dif POV will be here too, but just those two, so you have no excuse.
Salty tears
And salt water
Forgive me now
O my fathers
Hear my voice
As it comes unto thee
I am coming soon—
This life I shall leave
They hate me so
They hiss as I walk by
They glare at me
I want to cry
But I must be strong
For I am king
The bards they strum
And about me they sing
My vision wavers
The salt—it stings
Why now must I reminisce
When only pain it brings?
The voices I hear
They sound so distant
And now I fear
Perhaps I missed it
What if, as I lose my breath
They are filled now
With black regret
Wondering how
They could save me
From these tears I shed
So slowly now
For soon I shall be dead
The water is rippling
Over my head
I feel the angels calling me
As I lie in this watery bed
My throat, it burns
I cannot see
Please, child, I beg you
Shed just one tear for me
And salt water
Forgive me now
O my fathers
Hear my voice
As it comes unto thee
I am coming soon—
This life I shall leave
They hate me so
They hiss as I walk by
They glare at me
I want to cry
But I must be strong
For I am king
The bards they strum
And about me they sing
My vision wavers
The salt—it stings
Why now must I reminisce
When only pain it brings?
The voices I hear
They sound so distant
And now I fear
Perhaps I missed it
What if, as I lose my breath
They are filled now
With black regret
Wondering how
They could save me
From these tears I shed
So slowly now
For soon I shall be dead
The water is rippling
Over my head
I feel the angels calling me
As I lie in this watery bed
My throat, it burns
I cannot see
Please, child, I beg you
Shed just one tear for me
3 Comments
♥ them!!!
you're a really good poet you should make more :3
DO i really need to comment? the language is wonderful! they way you use the words its like...like...Dew drops on spider webs in the early morn....Wonderful. Simple lines with a hidden meaning. Great job!
This is so unique and awesome! i love your poetry!