Please read. This is my first original song and I want to hear what you guys think
Please comment and rate. Thanks.
Verse 1:
When you feel the pain
When you become insane
When you're about to die
Why can't you try,
Try to wish on a shooting star
Have you ever wished for hope?
Have you ever prayed for life?
Chorus:
When all is wrong
And all is gone
When the one you love
Doesn't love you back
When life doesn't carry you far
That's when you wish on a shooting star
Verse 2:
When all you have left is you
When you believe dreams don't come true
Let me just summarize
Why can't you realize
You can always wish on a shooting star
Have you ever wished for love
Have you ever prayed for that dream
Chorus:
When all is wrong
And all is gone
When the one you love
Doesn't love you back
When life doesn't carry you far
That's when you wish on a shooting star
Bridge:
Cause what comes up
Must come down
So all that's down
Will rise up
Changed Chorus:
When all is right
And everyone's here
When the one you love
Finally loves you back
When life takes you more far
Thank that wish on a shooting star
When you feel the pain
When you become insane
When you're about to die
Why can't you try,
Try to wish on a shooting star
Have you ever wished for hope?
Have you ever prayed for life?
Chorus:
When all is wrong
And all is gone
When the one you love
Doesn't love you back
When life doesn't carry you far
That's when you wish on a shooting star
Verse 2:
When all you have left is you
When you believe dreams don't come true
Let me just summarize
Why can't you realize
You can always wish on a shooting star
Have you ever wished for love
Have you ever prayed for that dream
Chorus:
When all is wrong
And all is gone
When the one you love
Doesn't love you back
When life doesn't carry you far
That's when you wish on a shooting star
Bridge:
Cause what comes up
Must come down
So all that's down
Will rise up
Changed Chorus:
When all is right
And everyone's here
When the one you love
Finally loves you back
When life takes you more far
Thank that wish on a shooting star
58 Comments
It's a beautiful song :)
Thanks.
It's really good! So sweet, and sad... Really good.
Thank you. Do you think I need to change anything?
No, I think this is really good! I'd have no idea how you could improve...But then again, there isn't much I know about songs.
Thanks:-D
It's really good :) great job!
Thank you. How can I improve?
: ) This is Amazing.
Thanks. Can you help me improve?
Sounds allitle like the ones i've wrote but good! :D
Thank you. Is there anything I need to fix?
I wish I've read this when I've went through a bad time! Nevertheless, I can do that now! This is amazing!
I wish I could know the bear, though.
Bear? Oh, and thank you. Is there anything I need to change?
The bear... *facepalm* I meant the beat.
oh... i'll maybe record myself singing. haven't decided if i am though
Just send the song to me in a message and I'll look at it, I can't right now cuz ipods have freakishly small text...
Ok
Amazing song!
thanks! do you know how i can improve?
I think its brilliant the way it is! Are you going to record yourself singing it?
i'm not sure yet. if i do... i'll tell you guys
I think i know how u could improve it. On the second two lines. I would add a bit more there. : D This is going in my favourites. x
can you help me add stuff? i can't think of any more bad things.
yeah give me a minute to think...
d@mn wrong comment sorry
it's fine
Ummm. Im not very good at writting. Ill try though : D
thank you!