How Dennis Hopper's Reputation May Go From Alpha and Omega

If you haven't looked at the link that I posted in the introduction of this, please do so before you read the rest of this story. You'll see the images that I'm going to be referring to throughout the whole rant/argument I'm putting up here.





More often than not, actors can't choose what films they complete just before they die. Sometimes they'll get lucky and have a Network or a Dark Knight or a Guess Who's Coming to Dinner in the bag to remind people how great they were. Other times they'll be lumbered with a Delgo or a Transformers: The Movie or, in Gene Kelly's case, that horrible Xanadu montage that required him to dress up like a cartoon cowboy and rollerskate around to an ELO song.

I'm telling you this because the trailer for Dennis Hopper's final film, Alpha and Omega, has been released. For an actor whose career hit the heights of Easy Rider and Apocalypse Now, the quality of his last film doesn't particularly matter that much – but it'd still be nice for him to bow out with some dignity, wouldn't it? Let's pull the trailer apart to see if he did it ...

1st scene: Admittedly Alpha and Omega is a cartoon. But look at his character here – it's a lone wolf howling proudly at the sky. Signs are good. Dignity level – 8/10.
My Opinion: He started out fairly well, honestly. I thought this was going to be a good article. Keep reading....

2nd scene: Wait a minute. Alpha and Omega may be a film about wolves, but it's actually a film about adorable baby wolves who frolic around in bluebell-filled meadows. Ominous. Dignity level – 6/10.
My Opinion: Honest to God? "Frolicking through bluebell-filled meadows"?? Does this even look like they're "frolicking"? Wolves don't do that. I would know. It's clear that Kate, in the picture, is hunting. This guy needs to get his facts straight. And seriously, "baby wolves"? Does the wolf look like a pup to you?

3rd scene: If the Alpha and Omega trailer is any indication of the actual film, then what you're looking at here is an image of a wolf spitting out some poo. Some actual wolf poo that went into his mouth when he got his face impaled in a bigger wolf's bottom. Hopper fans should relax a little – this film still doesn't look quite as bad as Super Mario Bros – but it won't be a masterpiece. Dignity level – 3/10.
My Opinion: "Spitting out some poo"? This guy is treating us like we're freaking kids, even though he specifically said that he was going to look at this from an adult's perspective. Hypocrite, much? "Some actual wolf poo that went into his mouth when he got his face impaled in a bigger wolf's bottom." Where did he get this? He's editorializing, which is adding your opinion into a news story. Being in journalism, one of the major things you should NOT do in a news story is add your own opinion! This whole article is biased, and it shouldn't be in the least.

4th scene: More bottoms. This time, Lady Wolf is about to be stabbed in the bum by a tranquillizer dart. However – bizarre arse fixation aside – perhaps this means that the film is about humanity's relentless destruction of the natural world, instead of some poo-eating wolves. Dignity level – 7/10
My Opinion: I like the comparison that Heritage made with "humanity's relentless destruction of the natural world" that he made. That much is honestly true. But seriously, bumping up the dignity rating simply because we have a close-up of a she-wolf's a-s-s? Can we say perv much? Or just really really desperate...

5th scene: Then again, the Alpha and Omega trailer has devoted an entire scene to the sight of a wolf pulling a funny face because it needs to do a wee, so what do I know? Dignity level – 5/10.
My Opinion: If this guy had watched the full trailer, he would have realized that the movie is meant for a kid audience, to be a family-friendly comedy / adventure. The funny face is meant to be a comic relief about the serious trip two wolves are taking to get home. It's simple. And yet Heritage demotes the dignity rating because of something funny. Once again, he's talking to us like we're kids, using the word "wee" instead of "pee" or even "piss", which is more adult than "wee", don't you agree? (Yes, cheesy rhyme was intended)

6th scene: And pulling a funny face because another wolf has bitten him on the rear. Dignity level – 4/10
My Opinion: Once again, COMIC. RELIEF. This guy has no sense of simple humor, does he? And he wasn't bitten in the rear by another wolf. If you had watched the full trailer, you would see that he was bitten in the tail to try and save Kate. A wolf's tail is sensitive, just like a cat is about its tail.

7th scene: This is better. Any idiot will have seen this moment coming a mile away, but it's cute. And it's not about bums or poo or wee, so I'll be generous here. Dignity level – 7/10
*My Opinion": Yes, anyone should have seen that coming, what with a line in the trailer being "they have to survive each other". It's a love story, for God's sake, just with a little twist to it. Once more, he's using that premature language such as "poo," "bums," and "wee." This guy has no idea what he's doing, at all.

8th scene: I'll be generous here as well. Yes, it's a goose pulling what seems like the billionth funny face of the trailer, but Alpha and Omega is a kid's film. Also, it's Father's Day soon, and this goose looks exactly like my dad. Seriously, it's spooky. Dignity level – 7.5/10.
My Opinion: "But Alpha and Omega is a kid's film." So now he brings that up? And giving this scene a 7.5 dignity level? He should honestly go back to the other scenes he gave 3s and 4s to for funny faces and change the ratings now. Took him long enough to realize the movie is supposed to be family-friendly. And when he brings up the part with his dad, how the goose looks almost exactly like him, WE DON'T CARE!!! Once more, it's editorializing, which, as you hopefully know, is the BIGGEST thing you should NOT do when writing a news story.

9th scene: Oh, hang on. It would appear that the moose is pulling this face because a para-sailing wolf has clattered face-first into its bottom, possibly getting its head lodged in the moose's rectum in the process.
My Opinion: "Lodged in the moose's rectum"? Honestly? You really think that a wolf getting dragged down a river by a goose would build up that much speed and momentum to get stuck up another animal's a-s-s? This guy is pulling stuff out of his butt just because he can. And notice how he went from the kid speak ("wee" and "poo") to using words like "rectum." You expect a 7-year-old to know that? Or should he ask his mommy?

Oh dear. What a sad way to say goodbye to Dennis Hopper. But cheer up – let's not say that Alpha and Omega is one of the worst films that Dennis Hopper ever made; let's say it's one of the best films about love-struck, incontinent, bum-obsessed, poo-eating cartoon wolves that anyone has ever made. Dignity doesn't matter when you've got plaudits like that, right? (This is the last thing Heritage writes in the article)
My Opinion: Here we go again, using the little kid language. This guy needs to get a solid plot line straight and keep it there. "Dignity doesn't matter when you have plaudits, right?" I honestly think this is false in most cases. If a movie didn't have any dignity, then how would people even be able to give it some sort of applause of praise? There is only one case that I find this statement true:
"Mr. Heritage, you honestly made me laugh with your stupidity for this, and are hereby awarded with this round of applause. Sadly enough, you lost what little dignity you had to start with." That's what I say.

As a final note, Stuart Heritage is criticizing a movie that he is clearly biased against. As a journalist, and for the Guardian Newspaper, no other, he should remain completely unbiased, and totally neutral, which, as it is obvious or as I pointed out, he failed to do completely. What's even worse, he was trying to demoralize a star actor, Dennis Hopper, EVEN THOUGH HE IS DEAD!!! That's right. Dennis Hopper died before Alpha and Omega could be put out into theaters. Heritage most likely didn't have a story to write about, with a deadline rapidly approaching, and bs'ed the whole report. I think this way because I'm biased, obviously, but I tried my best to remain as neutral as possible. I don't blame you if you don't think the same way as I do. I just hope that I managed to convince you of how badly Stuart Heritage, here, failed, and a miserable fail at that.

This is my final end note. We don't usually judge movies for what they are, but there are a few exceptions, such as Pirates of the Caribbean. The movie had an amazing plot line, but think about it. Jack always seems to end up doing the right thing in the end. Is that a theme or sorts? Yes, it is. It shows that no matter how bad a person may seem, they can have a good heart. As with Alpha and Omega, the theme here is "love will find its way." Isn't that true? If you haven't seen the movie, I won't spoil anything for you, but those of you who have seen it, you know what I'm talking about. Movies should not be judged off of how epic they are, in my opinion. They should be judged on the emotions, the feelings, the passion put into creating it and a theme that can speak to the audience as a whole.

If you actually stayed with me throughout this, thank you :)