Matchbox

"But what if-"
"When your nightmare strikes I will be here. I will make sure it doesnt take you too far, if anywhere. I promise I wont let it hurt you. Thats what Im here for." His arms held me reassuringly.
I knew I could trust him.
My wall of broken glass was falling to the ground around us, tinkling and pinging off my dreaded nightmare as he held me close. My tears were stinging my face and dribbling onto his fuzzy cotton covered chest, but I couldn't help it. Live a day with my nightmares and see where it gets you.
"I promise." He whispered.
"I know." But I couldnt help but cry.
"Its only a dream." His grip tightened on me.
"Its not a dream, those are the good things that your in," He kissed the top of my head softly. "These are nightmares. The kind when you wake up and feel like the monsters are still trying to crack your mind wide open and eat you-"
"Wear a helmet. Then Im the only one that'll see inside your head." His blue eyes glimmering in an effort to lighten the mood.
"Am I a monster?" I asked wiping away my tears.
"Everyone is."
And now I could sleep, his arms warm and comforting around me, knowing that I wasnt the only thing wrong with this world and Gods perfectly painted picture. I was just one mistake.
~
Panting, sweat sticking to my back and shirt clinging to sweat. The feeling of your feet being too heavy and not being able to run fast enough anymore.
"What did I do?" I asked, voice echoing and pounding through the black dreary landscape of hopeless memories.
A starving growl echoed as usual and my feet pounded on the ground harder and faster in an effort to escape but, in this nightmare like any other, I was going nowhere.
I tripped and skidded to the ground, knees cut and bleeding tears begining to roll down my face in a terrified effort to hide pain. I tried to force myself to my feet but the dark mass was already upon me and threw me through the hard cold floor and to the dreary night landscape where it tried to rip my hopes and dreams out of me.
"Rings!" I yelled, his shoulders and moppet head only visible over the back of the bench. "Help!"
But nothing was going to get him to budge because another girl came and sat next to him, one with beautiful long dark hair cascading over her shoulder in curls. I clawed at my bleeding knees and screamed out for him, this wasnt happening. He loves me he would never-
But they were kissing now.
Another throaty petrifying growl signified my force throught the cottony soft grass to the dark black corridor where I would stumble and trip my way to my brother on the other end, the one who taught me to be strong and never show fear, who was crying for me to help him as a balck shadow twisted around his body and he screamed out for me to help.
"John!" I yelled for him, but he couldnt hear me over his own crying and yelling for my help.
"I thought you could save me." He said before reaching out for me and fading to black.
My head pounded and throbbed, as if something had crawled inside and was taking a battle axe to my skull. I squirmed around on the ground crying out as George and Paul hovered above me, beating me for not helping John. They werent my saviors. They laughed as I bled and as I grabbed onto their ankles they dissapeared and I was at the foot of my monster.
Huge red eyes like flames, big yellow teeth protruding so far from its face that it slightly resembled a walrus. Blood dripping from its horrible deformed mouth and claws like razors and scissors ripping at me with all the anger of the world, pulling the spirits of Ringo, George, Paul and John from inside me and eating them whole like the needy beast it was. I could feel it pulling my memories from me, Ringo and George there for me at my graduation. John and Paul writing together in the all to small apartment as I leafed through records and rain pounded on the windows. I giggled as John taught me to count the seconds between lightning and thunder. I cried as Ringo told me he loved me and kissed me in the rain.
I screamed, sweat and blood covering my body as the final memory of John crying over mum came to mind. I died as Paul was crying-
~
"Come 'ere. Your alright." Ringo was pulling me close as I cried myself into delerium.
"Im a monster, Rings. I cant live like this." I cried into his shoulder as his cold ringed fingers beat a slow tempo on my back.
He was thinking. "Lets go see John."
"No! I cant! What'll he say? He'll get mad at me and-"
"Your his sister for god sake. I dont think he'll be mad at you for having a nightmare." He tucked my hair behind my ear and gave me a kiss on the forehead.
I shuddered and clung to Ringo, my savior. "I love you Rings."
"I love you too hun."
We layed back down, the warm sheets begining to lull me far far away.
"Are you gonna go back to sleep?" He whispered, fingers playing with the curls in my hair.
"I dunno." But when I looked up into his blue eyes I could see that he wasnt going back to sleep after that.
"I cant." He kissed me quickly.
"Go call John." I sighed.
He hopped out of bed and scattered to the phone, Why does he worry so easily?
"She's really bad." I heard Ringo say quietly. "I dunno. Waddaya say we do?"
I shuddered at the thought of losing them, would John really do that to me? He was my brother!
"She is not. And your more sane?" A pause. I began to worry. "Is there anything else? We cant just-"
I started to cry. Cant what?! Ship me off because your famous and Im mental!? He's my brother and ready to get rid of me like mum did to us, thats not fair!
"Ill get her to bring her stuff. John?" Pause... "Im really worried for the both of you."
The phone clicked and Ringo came back in. I had my arms wrapped around my legs and was basically rocking back and forth, this wasnt fair!
"You alright, luv?" Ringo asked sliding close to me and running his fingers through my hair.
"No. You and John are gonna ship me off to live with Mimi. Im never gonna see you again and die a lonely old hag." I said angrily, trying not to get in Ringo's face about it...
"We werent gonna ship you anywhere hun," He laughed. "Your gonna go stay with John. He's your brother and he wants to make sure-"
"That if I dont drive myself completely bonkers he does? Thanks." I grumbled.
"We're doing this for you. Not to mention you'll get to see the rest of us basically everyday since he's taking you to the studio. Now stop acting like a little kid and promise me you'll stay safe." His blue eyes begging for more than my safety.
"Ringo?"
"Yeah luv?"
"Am I crazy?"
"No more than John."
"Seriously. Am I crazy?"
Sigh, "We dunno luv."
"How could you love a crazy person?"
"I love you dont I?"
"Rings?"
"Yeah luv?"
"What if, in my nightmare, Im the monster? What if the monster is what I turn into?" This thought had come to me suddenly as I realized I always depended on them.
If I wasnt with Ringo, like I was stuck to him 90% of the time, then I was with George and if not him then Paul and John since they were inseperable. I was petrified that now, I was losing my mind and all abilities to do things for myself and that instead I would now depend on them for the rest of my life.
"Your not a monster, luv. Look at me, I promise we can figure this out. I promise."
"I love you Ringo."
"I will always love you."
"Even when Im crazy?"
"Even when your crazy. Even when John finds his sanity." He whispered.
We both smiled, and suddenly I didnt feel like everything was going to be horrible and worthless anymore. Everything was going to work out in the end, and not just that, but maybe John and I could find our sanity and finally be a family again.
But the sanity thing we'd have to work on...
Especially for him.