Quotes I Like =)

"In God we trust, others must pay cash."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together."

"I’m sorry, my fault, I forgot you were an idiot."

"Take my advice, I don't use it anyway."

"I’m not as dumb as you look."

"There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting."

"I wear the brains in the family."

"There’s no future in time travel."

"Beat the 5 o’clock rush - Leave work at noon."

"I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit."

"Where there’s a will… I want to be in it."

"People like you are the reason people like me need medication."

"There’s too much blood in my alcohol system."

"Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already."

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again."

"I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."

"Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else."

"If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"I’m the person your mother warned you about."

"A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory."

"Weapons of mass distraction."

"I can resist everything, except temptation."

"If you don't like my attitude, quit talking to me."

"I don’t know what makes you dumb, but it really works."

"It is better to let everyone think you are stupid, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

"Let's save time and just assume I know everything."

"If you wanna come second... Follow me!!"

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy!"

"A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

"Twinkle twinkle I'm a star."

"My opinions may have changed but not the fact that I am right!"

"I'm not totally useless, I can be used as a bad example."

"Please entertain me, I'm bored!"

"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory."

"Everyone seems normal until you get to know them."

"Nothing is illegal until you get caught."

"I'm open to suggestions, just not to taking them."

"Lord, if I can't be skinny, please let all my friends be fat."

"The more I learn, the less I understand."

"Born free!! Now I'm expensive."

"I'm free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally."

"I think, therefore I'm single."

"Abandon the search for truth, settle for a good fantasy."

"Please Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me."

"It's not an attitude, it's the way I am!"

"Will smile for food."

"Dad's the boss, mom said so."

"All men are idiots, and I married their king."

"I'm just a baby - what's your excuse?"

"With this smile, I can get away with everything."

"I'm so cute, I should wear a warning."