What You Do To Me
This is a little page that talks about a true story about this guy I like. It's very personal but I feel the need to share it so PLEASE comment and rate maybe even sharing your own experiences.
My feelings flew off the charts as we shared our sacred stare. My air was cut off leaving my breathless. I wanted to look away. The butterfly swarm my stomach said I should but I didn’t have the courage. I held on as if my life depended on it. In that moment I felt complete whole again. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment then to be the only one you saw, the only one who you could share this look with. I wanted nobody to be around, nobody to interrupt our intimacy. Your stare intensified. You seemed to be staring into my soul purifying it with your grace. Nobody seemed to notice us stopped in time though which made my heart pounded against my chest drowning out all other noises.
My world came crashing down around me like a windshield as I came back to reality realizing that while that stare meant everything to me it meant nothing to you. I held back my tears, my eyes stinging. All my feelings ceased. My hopes and wishes left my body leaving it hallow and cold yet desperate for more. No matter what I did or how much I tried to stay away I couldn’t. It’s like you are a disease, my poison, my own drug addiction. You build me up just to leave me drowning in my own sorrow. I never agreed to this relationship or whatever you want to call it but I need it and still do. It’s the only way I now you are still thinking about me even when I know better. The only way I know someone still cares. I know you will never like me the way I like you but it’s worth a shot to fall right? I broke our glance; you looked satisfied now that your job is complete. I let you do it to me again I didn’t even realize what you were doing until I’m already caught up in the trap like a dolphin in a net. How could I be so foolish? Is this my punishment? What did I do to deserve this? Am I not good enough for you? So many questions left unanswered. My heart shattered in my chest; breaking, burning, falling into a million pieces, each shard a different part of me, you did this. You’re the only one who can hurt me this much yet the one person who can make me feel like the happiest girl on earth.
A sickening feeling crept up into the pit of my stomach knowing that I’ll have to let you go eventually. Could I have the courage to let you leave my life without really being in it? I bury my thoughts to the back of my mind not wanting to show any weaknesses because if I do I know that you have won. I get on with my class mentally struggling with all my emotions you have stripped me down to. All I can do is put on this face hiding my true pain, the only real emotion I have ever really had. The next time I see you I know that this will happen again yet I will keep going back letting myself do this. When will it stop? Will it ever?
My world came crashing down around me like a windshield as I came back to reality realizing that while that stare meant everything to me it meant nothing to you. I held back my tears, my eyes stinging. All my feelings ceased. My hopes and wishes left my body leaving it hallow and cold yet desperate for more. No matter what I did or how much I tried to stay away I couldn’t. It’s like you are a disease, my poison, my own drug addiction. You build me up just to leave me drowning in my own sorrow. I never agreed to this relationship or whatever you want to call it but I need it and still do. It’s the only way I now you are still thinking about me even when I know better. The only way I know someone still cares. I know you will never like me the way I like you but it’s worth a shot to fall right? I broke our glance; you looked satisfied now that your job is complete. I let you do it to me again I didn’t even realize what you were doing until I’m already caught up in the trap like a dolphin in a net. How could I be so foolish? Is this my punishment? What did I do to deserve this? Am I not good enough for you? So many questions left unanswered. My heart shattered in my chest; breaking, burning, falling into a million pieces, each shard a different part of me, you did this. You’re the only one who can hurt me this much yet the one person who can make me feel like the happiest girl on earth.
A sickening feeling crept up into the pit of my stomach knowing that I’ll have to let you go eventually. Could I have the courage to let you leave my life without really being in it? I bury my thoughts to the back of my mind not wanting to show any weaknesses because if I do I know that you have won. I get on with my class mentally struggling with all my emotions you have stripped me down to. All I can do is put on this face hiding my true pain, the only real emotion I have ever really had. The next time I see you I know that this will happen again yet I will keep going back letting myself do this. When will it stop? Will it ever?
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