my FIRST ever POEM!! PLS READ
well,i had a creative rush of emotions,
which resulted,in my first EVER poem!!!xD
and omg,i wrote it all by myself!!lol
oh,and,btw,it's a little depressing,but it's impowering also!!
pls enjoy and comment!!
You say hello,
you cast a spell,
my god,how quickly i fell
your stare cuts to my core,
i've never felt like this before
the days turn into weeks,
where i'm so entranced i could barely speak
and i thought you'd be the one to show me how glorious first love is,
the one who brightens up all the darkness,
but instead you showed me you couldn't care less,
and you broke my heart into shattered glass bits
you were so cold,
but your playing with my emotions finally took it's toll,
and now
i am forever free,
of your hold.
you cast a spell,
my god,how quickly i fell
your stare cuts to my core,
i've never felt like this before
the days turn into weeks,
where i'm so entranced i could barely speak
and i thought you'd be the one to show me how glorious first love is,
the one who brightens up all the darkness,
but instead you showed me you couldn't care less,
and you broke my heart into shattered glass bits
you were so cold,
but your playing with my emotions finally took it's toll,
and now
i am forever free,
of your hold.
28 Comments
This is really good. Just watch spelling and grammar. Other than that this is fantastic!
thx so much!!xD
rlly great! :D
You're so welcome!
this is so good ur awesome xD
Really good, you can feel the emotion, i hope you meant it, and you're over him :) :P
Very good! Not overdone, and amazing! If you hadn't told me it was your first, I'd think you'd written a lot!
WOW!!!!!! THATS AMAZING!!!
that rally good like rally good
OMG!
I Can't even begin to describe how amazing this is!
It's good, but you do need to change "could care less." The expression is actually Couldn't care less, because it means they can't care less about you, they hate you/dismiss you/whatever. Could care less is equivalent to saying "I love you."
thx so much 4 pointing that out,and now thx 2 u i fixed it:)
Your welcome! Brilliant poem! :D