Idk what to call this story....
hi this is a story i made up during the boring 45 minutes of study hall i have.... lol anyway rate, comment,
and suggestion/critizism(spelling) is greatly appriecitated (again spelling)
~
Brie :D
Before the Trees of Argessi were cut down, burned, and left to die. We were free, we did what we wanted, we celebrated, we danced, we laughed, we sang, and our lives were plentiful and good.
One day, new people rode across the horizon. Shabby were there clothes and they had little or no food. We welcomed them with open arms and helped them. We taught them, not everything we knew, but enough to live on.
We also said "The most important rule is one you should always live by. Live with nature. Don't ever hurt it for if you do Mother Nature will inflict such horrors upon you, you will loose sight of what is good in this world."
Many centuries passed without any sorrows, until a group of humans decided that they are superior to everyone and everything out there. We knew that this day would come, so before they could do anything we stripped them of the knowledge we had taught them.
That group of humans was forced to relearn everything. Somehow after hundreds and thousands of years they did; but instead of living with nature they were destroying it.
We fought but because much of the nature was gone out powers were greatly reduced. So we fled watching helplessly as they cut down and burned our homes and cities.
Many millenniums have passed; we are still here, though we are only a few.
We are waiting, biding our time until the prophecy comes true.
____________________
rate and comment
critizism and suggestions are greatly apprieciated
~
Brie :D
One day, new people rode across the horizon. Shabby were there clothes and they had little or no food. We welcomed them with open arms and helped them. We taught them, not everything we knew, but enough to live on.
We also said "The most important rule is one you should always live by. Live with nature. Don't ever hurt it for if you do Mother Nature will inflict such horrors upon you, you will loose sight of what is good in this world."
Many centuries passed without any sorrows, until a group of humans decided that they are superior to everyone and everything out there. We knew that this day would come, so before they could do anything we stripped them of the knowledge we had taught them.
That group of humans was forced to relearn everything. Somehow after hundreds and thousands of years they did; but instead of living with nature they were destroying it.
We fought but because much of the nature was gone out powers were greatly reduced. So we fled watching helplessly as they cut down and burned our homes and cities.
Many millenniums have passed; we are still here, though we are only a few.
We are waiting, biding our time until the prophecy comes true.
____________________
rate and comment
critizism and suggestions are greatly apprieciated
~
Brie :D
38 Comments
good story...will there be a Idk what to call this story....part 2? lol. but seriously...will there more?
yes there will be more :)
...You spelled 'appreciated' (you spelled it appriecitated) wrong in the intro... 'Horizon' was spelled wrong (you spelled it 'horizan')... It should be 'lose', not 'loose'... It should be 'have passed', not 'has passed'...
Other than that, this was good! It's really intriguing; I want to know what kind of species this race is, if not human. Next chapter, please!
thank you :)
oh this isnt la class.i dont mean to be rude but...lighten up!
There are a few grammatical errors, so I'm just gonna message the corrections. There weren't that many but I think it'd just be easier to fix that way. But anyway, the story's really good. I can't wait to read more and find out what it's about.
YAY
As a reply to your reply to my comment, I wasn't trying to be, like, a Grammar Nazi (which I am, sadly), but she said she wanted us to point out mistakes. It's a bad habit, I know, but if people ask for corrections I feel the need to point things out... I really should lighten up, though. I'll work on it ;)
And don't forget their* xD You're a really good writer though!
Lessons! xD
There = at that place. Example: There! At that stream!
Their = Something from someone, example: Their baby.
They're = They are.
Hope that helped :D
i like it so far...continue?! ^_^
thanx but im not very far :D lol
This is really interesting! :D
THANX :D
I love it :D!
Merci beaucoup (boo-coo) if u dont know what it is look it up :D
Lol The word in french? Yeah I do :P xD
okay doke :D just some ppl dont know... shrugs
OMG!!! i luved it!!!
5 stars!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
next chapter please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
okay :)