Not important

My dad once told me we are alone in the world and he is right. We die alone, we are born alone. No one knows how we feel. No one can understand. I feel this pressure pushing me down to the ground and you left me alone. Why'd you go when I needed you the most. That's why I scream now, my lungs burning and my throat on fire. I feel cold and warm and I cant think with no place to run to. No arms to hold me and my lips are turning black and blue. Ive got no place to go. We were meant for each other so why cant you see I would never leave and no one cares as much as me. You've said so yourself so why cant you just believe what you've said. Now we haven't talked for many days, Ive been counting, obsessed with watching my phone to see if you will call saying sorry. My friend told me that when he commits suicide and goes to hell, he will think of me and how I loved him and of how he just let me go and regret it for all of eternity in his pit of hell. How he will realize how wrong he was... but what if he was right. What if we aren't meant to be together. Should I reach for my phone. Should I call you. Oh my god how I miss you. My heart burns thinking of being alone... My greatest fear is abandonment and you're making me scared that it will come true. You've left me on this sinking ship.. Now how is life a blessing if all we do is cry inside of how life is hell. Answer me that question... And now help me understand why my friend wont give me the pills... The pills who drift me off to sleep, a sleep that lasts eternity. When will my fate come, why is it that every time I try to die, the world pushes me back and I come back, not harmed at all. Its not fair. Its not fair. I know I'm selfish saying my life is bad, since people have it much worse, but I cant help it. I really cant.
I just want that sleep, that sleep that lasts eternity.