blonde jokes!:)

71. What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run - she is still holding the grenade!

72. Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? It said "concentrate" on it


43. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant!


44. How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer? There's white-out on the screen.



25. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!

26. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!


17. How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday? Tell her a joke on a Monday!


18. What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but never see any!

19. I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts.... she gave me change!



110. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up!


111. Why did the blonde cross the road? "I don't know." Neither did she!


112. Did you hear about the blonde with tire marks on her back? She crawled across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".


113. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade!


114. Want to know how to amuse a blonde for hours? Write "please turn over" on both sides of the paper!

115. Did you hear about the blonde that put lipstick on her forehead so she could make up her mind?



016. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!


017. How do you make a blondes eyes shine bright? Shine a torch in her ear!


018. Be careful never to let a blonde have a coffee break... It takes too long to retrain her afterwards!


019. Why don't you see blonde pharmacists? They can't get the bottles into the typewriter!


020. What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes? A mental block!

021. What do you call 100 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel!

022. A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car, but burned her lips on the tailpipe.


023. Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!


024. A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette said, "Oh look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where, where?"


025. How do you confuse a blonde? You can't, they have always been like that.


026. Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what was on the other side.


027. How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.


028. How does a blonde try to kill a fish? She drowns it.


029. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat? Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.


030. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes.




031. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? An airbag.

032. What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette? Artificial intelligence.


033. What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.


034. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax? It has a stamp on it.



035. How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.



036. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio? It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.


037. A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and now today you expect me to show it to you."


038. There are three blondes on an island. The first one says "I wish I was smarter than the other two!" She turns into a burnet and swims off the island.
The second one says "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" She turns into a redhead, builds a boat, and sails off the island. The third one says "I wish I was the absulute smartest of all of us!" She turns into a man and walks over the bridge.


-139. Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!



-140. A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!



-141. Did you hear about the blonde tap dancer? She fell in the sink!


-142. Did you hear about the blonde who was a really good cook? She could get pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece!


-143. Did you hear about the blonde that threw away her weight loss video because she noticed that the people on the video were not losing weight either?