Movie Reviews (Read introduction)

Most of us have read the books of Darren Shan. They're gripping, fast-paced and packed with suspense. So a lot of people had high hopes when the entered the cinema to see the movie of it.
And an awful lot were disappointed. The movie wasn't anything like the books, which was a real bummer as practically everyone only SAW the thing because of the books. Complete with cheesy animation and bad acting, the movie was a total flop. It was combining the first three books of the series: Cirque du Freak, the Vampire's Assistant and Tunnels of Blood. What was actually in the movie was mostly Cirque du Freak and practically nothing of the other two.
If you've read the books, you'd know that a man called Cormac Limbs can heal himself, and that when the Wolf Man comes out, he bites the hand off a REGULAR woman, not 'Cormella' Limbs! It's so STUPID, and Gertha Teeth looks awful, the Wolf Man looks really fake and don't get me STARTED on Evra Von the snake boy.
Even the character's personalities are completely different. For instance, Darren is meant to be a rebel, a brave kid who's not afraid to stand up for himself, not a kid who's a goody-goody-two-shoes and has a secret best friend Steve Leonard. You don't like Darren as much when he's a coward, especially with those really stupid lines!
"So, can I turn into a bat now?" Darren asks once he's turned into a half-vampire. It's so STUPID!
But I'm not just complaining about the books-movie reference. I'm telling you about the actual plot of the thing. It follows roughly the same outline as every other cheesy movie out there. Darren gets recruited into the vampire clan, he feels safe there, then something BAD happens like Mr Tiny, and he's refusing whatever's most important to him - in this case blood - while this is going on. But then a brave friend helps him just at the nick of time when his family gets kidnapped by the bad guys. In this case, a weird monkey girl who's not in the books and the bad guys are Murlough the vampaneze and Steve.
Coming to the point about the animation, I think they slacked off a lot. The flitting scenes were frankly terrible, like some cheap 1976 fantasy film that won no awards. The vampaneze, Murlough, was meant to have purple skin and red eyes. Instead he was a grubby commoner who, to be honest, looked like a rich guy with a bit of mud on his face.
To be fair, the movie would've been quite good if you hadn't read the series or had a bad eye and ear for animation and acting purposes, which is why I'm giving it two star instead of one, which some people would say it deserves.
I hated the movie, to be honest, especially the Little People, who were messed up, and the fact that you were expecting a lot more action in it, like the books, wheras hardly anything really happens except the scene when Steve pays his teacher a little visit. Even then you don't see anything happen, as the scene quickly ends.
The ending was meant to be a cliff hanger, but I think you were sort of anxious for the finale, epic battle between Darren and Steve, the final clash of good and evil that you were quite disappointed at the ending of it. It was a failed move on the director's part, which I find rather finished the movie with a whimper rather than with a bang.
All in all - a rubbish film only suitable for a lonely Sunday night with your mates, wanting something you can laugh at and critisize.
DARREN SHAN. TWO STAR.